John Stegkemper

Happy Mother’s Day, everybody. Forever in my heart...

@MurciaConLimon Somalians

¿Cómo se llama en tu país un grupo de ratas? 🐀

@TrumpTruthOnX @grok (Old but true) So fugly that a BJ from Chelsea counts as anal.

.@grok Are you able to tell us what the man in the white cap said that caused President Trump to abruptly grab his cap and leave the conversation?

@ThrillaRilla369 From @PeteButtigieg , I present to you the “BootyJuice” bike. 😉

Age yourself by naming a popular bike brand from your childhood I’ll go first Haro

@ThrillaRilla369 @YorkshireLady3 Damn kids these days with their fancy overhead projectors, tight britches and smart mouths……..😉

You’re old But are you this old?

@AprilSpark1890 @45johnmac Muck a bunch of Fuslims. 😉

👀💯Sara Gonzales confronted the “Muslim only” waterpark event organizer. This is good.💯👀

@PhilSledge Ranger attempting a post swimmy uphill exit (it took two attempts but he made it). Me and Rem contained ourselves, a little 🤭🤣😂.

Post the recent photo of your pet on your phone. I’ll go first. No cheating 😂

@RedWavePress That’s because Obama likes his hot dogs up his ass.

Stephen Colbert: “Is it ever okay to put ketchup on a hot dog?” Former President Barack Obama: “No.” I’m sorry, WHAT???

Me attempting to find out who this latest White House shooter is………

Hey @NikkiFried , are you guys going to hose the caked on man spunk from Andrew Gillum and run him for Florida Governor again?? If so feel free to use the attached photo and good luck. (Crackers never forget Nikki). 🖕🏼the algorithm 😎.

@Real_Ames @RagingKuJo1222 You mean her “BPT” privilege wasn’t honored?

Ok, so ... a black rapper named Erica Banks is at an airport in Colorado. She is running....cause she is late for her flight. And the door closes. She said she was racially profiled and that they closed the door on her and her friend....because.... yes .... you guessed it . .... because they are black. 🙄 Not sure what airport they are at in Colorado. But if it's Denver .. it is the most liberal airport i have ever been in. She wasn't being profiled .. she should have been on time. Bottom line is ... she expected special treatment because she is a rapper.

@Amy_90_x Being a “New Cock” Officer the Controlroom Sergeant (Paul “Out of round” Thompson) was giving me shit about my recent Mon thru Fri, 7a to 3p gig on Admin shift. He effed up and let me in to get my shit so I taped one to the wheel of his roller chair throne. Good times 🤭.

Oh yes 😂😂

@GretaThunberg has announced the new Cruise Director for her upcoming Global Sexual Assualt Flotilla, @ericswalwell . Any comments Eric ??

@ThrillaRilla369 “Just da tip?” Says one man…..

You're eating out and the bill is $74 - what are you tipping? Be honest, I'm trying to prove a point.

@beyoncegarden Retardella.

not there being scammers at coachella oh they need to sue them for EVERYTHING they have omfg😭

@iluminatibot @InfraredSeeker Makes a decent distilling apparatus as well…..😉

The real reason they got rid of copper pipes: "By drinking copper water you are charging your body and boosting your frequency." "But not only that, copper is antibacterial."

@putzisbackbaby 😁

Ive tasted relationships and I've tasted being single. I recommend substance abuse….

Ranger having words with Mr. Donkeyman. (Me and Remi stayed out of it).😉

@putzisbackbaby I can see it on you’re face, you’re thinking “Fudge” aren’t you? ✊

Sure…..juice….

@GuntherEagleman No medals or pardons but I’d bet a Coke and Honeybun mysteriously appeared under his pillow when he was returned to his cell. 😎

He should get a medal and a pardon.