Ronnie Fleming

Oh you want to be a comedian? I hope you like the feeling of throwing a birthday party every single week and worrying if anyone is going to show up.

@Ron_Flem I still have this

Always a good sign for a society when people have to start conversations with sentences like “Personally, I believe murder is a bad thing..”

@Hatr8787 They were on at different times.

Swamp-ass just hits different when you got a bbl.

@Ron_Flem 😂😂😂 This is great!

Liver King did nothing wrong.

Now that Texas banned weed and porn Americans are fleeing to Mexico for a better life.

Changing a bunch of tires last week made me think about our dads and how they just knew that shit (I had to YouTube). Maybe that’s why they were so quiet, they had to retain all this information. “I’d say I’m proud of you son but I’m afraid I’ll forget how long to boil an egg.”

JD Vance gotta write a Hillbilly Eulogy.

Saw a Men’s Health headline: “How this Married Dad got Supremely Fit at 45.” If I see a married dad get supremely fit at 45, I’m not thinking that man is healthy I think he’s having an affair.

Just want to live long enough my COD will be Suicide by Robocop.

New PornHub category no one asked for

If you’re a fish, Lent is your yearly holocaust

Me, watching the West Wing: “More like the ‘Left’ Wing amiright?” *goes for high-five/hug from my dad that never comes*

Saw Love Lies Bleeding and now I know what i must do (grow out my hair like this.)

Women will be like “girl lunch” and it’s vodka

Was the subtext of Annie that no one wants a redhead?

Masturbating in your 20s: I needed that. Masturbating in your 30s: I needed *that*

Being a man is worrying your friend in the hospital will call you gay if you ask if he’s okay.