The Muse

11.5K posts

The Muse

The Muse

@RummyLauded

All of this is false. I always tell the truth.

On my knees, but not for you. Katılım Ekim 2011
523 Takip Edilen5.2K Takipçiler
The Muse retweetledi
Little Greenis
Little Greenis@DurtMcHurtt·
When a raccoon stands up and cracks his knuckles, stop shaving him immediately.
English
16
243
496
0
The Muse retweetledi
Carbosly
Carbosly@Carbosly·
I'm at the best part in life: friends are no longer getting engaged/married or having kids & just want to drink to forget their shitty lives
English
0
11
48
0
The Muse retweetledi
Matt
Matt@mattgallo123·
It's funny, when I walk into a spider web I demolish his home and misplace his dinner yet I still feel like the victim.
English
28
2.2K
3K
0
The Muse retweetledi
Little Greenis
Little Greenis@DurtMcHurtt·
50% of mariachi bands end in divorciachi.
English
17
1.3K
2.1K
0
The Muse retweetledi
♥mark magark♥
♥mark magark♥@markedly·
Spanish: The h is silent English: Many letters can be silent French: All letters are meaningless, every living thing is born without reason
English
236
30.4K
38.6K
0
The Muse retweetledi
Jon
Jon@ArfMeasures·
WIFE: We'd have less arguments if he wasn't so pedantic THERAPIST [to me] Is that right? ME: No. It should be fewer arguments
English
15
623
991
0
The Muse retweetledi
𝔭𝔭
𝔭𝔭@athleisure_monk·
[god creating jellyfish] how bout an evil bag
English
50
11.9K
20.8K
0
The Muse
The Muse@RummyLauded·
So I guess I live in California now. Weird.
English
1
0
11
0
The Muse retweetledi
Caribbean girl in Europe
Caribbean girl in Europe@Priscilla_YEAH·
Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that's why he doesn't want to shake your hand".
English
6
143
241
0
The Muse
The Muse@RummyLauded·
Diva: noun. Italian for "fat girl with over-inflated ego."
English
0
4
15
0
The Muse
The Muse@RummyLauded·
I'm not exactly happy. But I'm definitely not sad. And right now that's perfectly enough.
English
0
12
23
0
The Muse retweetledi
Mariya Alexander
Mariya Alexander@MariyaAlexander·
Idea: Breathalyzer tests at the airport, to make sure you're drunk enough
English
0
5
17
0
The Muse retweetledi
Abe Yospe
Abe Yospe@Cheeseboy22·
My son is petrified of thunder. I told him that is ridiculous, it's the lightning that will kill him.
English
2
63
155
0
The Muse retweetledi
audrey farnsworth
audrey farnsworth@audipenny·
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces
English
110
4.2K
8.8K
0
The Muse retweetledi
Quack
Quack@Quack_Daniel·
Been yelling just awful things at people, trying to improve my chef skills.
English
0
20
41
0
The Muse
The Muse@RummyLauded·
@Squizbot ha! That's funny about money. I hope it stops hating you too! (Out of Europe...)
English
0
0
1
0
The Muse retweetledi
Molly
Molly@Molly_Kats·
Did you just say "go east" instead of "turn right," you pompous little direction shitlord?
English
13
140
438
0
The Muse retweetledi
Julie 🤬🎼
Julie 🤬🎼@inScytheful·
You compliant, docile little fuck.
English
0
1
4
0