kasey

Beautiful woman named pick up your prescriptions in the next three days is desperately trying to reach me

I’ve been working on a new App for Trolls and Haters.. What cha think???

Just remembered when that girl was posting trying to figure out Wemby’s name to buy her bf a jersey and called him Hector Banana bread

hold up...they don't love u like i love u

@crawf34 One?

@SMASEY we should get to punch one guest per shift

A guest just slammed into me so hard he broke my glasses and said “move!” and that’s restaurant life

@meatbike69 This is the same thing as rest

I got worried when I saw Mr Feeny from boy meets world was in the New York Post cause I thought he died but it turned out to be worse

honestly the biggest sort of mindfuck I’ve encountered being back on Twitter after a little over two months away is that the way people talk about dating and relationships on here is kinda fucking weird

911 i need your help. whats the problem. 2 girls fitin ova me. whats the problem. the ugly 1 winin

Car Seat Headrest, deeply embarrassing band, just nothing to them and yet miraculously they wrote one of the greatest pop songs of the 2000s.

Was going to add to the porn discourse very late but they would hang me by my fingernails

I don't think I understand young people dating. Do they just pretend they aren't dating each other until they are married

wore a crop top to panera bread and got evangelized before I even got my soup. humbling experience

getting extreme cosmetic surgery so that no one in the office asks me about the sixers

i played a song by the front bottoms in the car with my mom the other day and she very politely waited until the song was over to say, “that song sucked”

“burgers can be so epic, and traveling is so amazeballs” - anthony bourdain

Never forget how he paid arena employee’s salaries during covid while the owner Josh Harris was paying people to cover up his Epstein ties

when your uncle pulls up to the bbq and his leitmotif starts playing