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@Martynshaw @htafc @sbk Always a 🔥 stick

@htafc @sbk I watch this crap week after week at a 1:00AM kick off time here in Australia. Won’t be buying the video pass next season.

FT. #htafc | @sbk

@ScienceGuys_ Jump

What would you do now in this situation? 🤯

@fesshole Slagggggg

The married guy I'm seeing asked me for ideas for his wife's Christmas present. I said women really love practical things to make their life easier at home and now he's buying her an air fryer.

@PolitlcsUK @Telegraph Warning the government is losing to much money to disposable vapes

🚨 | BREAKING: The government will ban disposable vapes [@Telegraph]

I've recently found out my boyfriend of 7 years only uses one sheet of toilet paper at a time, doesn't scrunch or fold meaning I think that his fingers sometimes go through it. He insists this is normal and that "everyone does that" but I find it mental.

I recently decided to hire a guy called Roland, over a far superior candidate just so I had a legitimate reason to say Ro- land all day in the style of Janet from Grange Hill.

@darren_lehmann Am sorry I got caught

😂😂, good post 👍. How Many days since you held the ashes please ? 👍

When my partner puts skid marked underwear in the laundry basket, instead of washing them, I just fold them and put them back in his drawer

@fesshole Slaggggg !!!

I cheat on my husband with a man with the same name so I never have to worry about getting his name wrong

@fesshole Colin the caterpillar comes to the rescue

Someone who bullied me at school runs their own cafe now. They started selling "Colin the Caterpillar" biscuits with the Colin the Caterpillar chocolate faces from Marks and Spencer on them so I've let M&S customer services know to ask them to investigate.

@ginnersinner @fesshole You all speak ENGLISH 😘

@fesshole Did you also figure out how to spell ‘licence’???

After I got my drivers license I figured out what numbers in the license number referred to my date of birth. I edited them when filling out applications for the 18-25 rail card and managed to get cheaper train travel well after I was 25.

@fesshole Nasty jam pasty

After wearing my period knickers all day during a particularly heavy flow, I left them to soak in cold water in the laundry sink. Well I forgot them in there until I heard my cat happily licking the bloody water like it was rasperry cordial. Haven't looked him in the eyes since.

@SelfDaniel @SkyNews That's this afternoon

@SkyNews I left this morning at 12pm

BREAKING: Phillip Schofield leaves This Morning after more than 20 years news.sky.com/story/phillip-…

@Anna_96_10 You watch the Premier league.

Emi Martinez has won more international trophies since 2021 than the English national team have in their entire existence