Jernej

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I've already got a head start on my New Year's resolution by completely giving up.

I know life has no reset button, but laughing until you cry is pretty damn close.

I don’t always contradict myself, but when I do, it’s all the time.

@redban : "Did you murder Heath Ledger?" #stilllaughing

Fall is when trees wear their sexy lingerie that ends up on the floor, then they just stare at each other naked all winter as foreplay.

A lot of people end up unhappy because they make permanent decisions on temporary emotions.

Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

Give thanks for all experience. You are a reverberation of an ancient echo, eons ago.

Sex should never be used as a weapon. Unless we’re fighting in a sex war, against alien fuckbots.

You are a beautiful monkey!

How come when my son does a big loud poop in his diaper, it's "cute," but when I do it, it's "sexy?"

My yard looks amazing! But it took forever to clean all the Smurf meat off my lawnmower's blades.

“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar

I bet I'd be good at the sex.

I droped it. Now I just have to wait.