Shobiz.tez

Your mother is problematic. Your father is problematic. Your son is problematic. Your aunt is problematic. The cashier at the local Tesco is problematic. You've probably bought a cookie from a bakery made by hands that have done unspeakable things. Every chocolate bar you've ever eaten has probably killed a 7 year old child slave in Cameroon. The gas that drives your car is fueled by engines of death. Every person who has ever smiled at you in the streets has committed some act that if you knew about it, would make you profoundly dislike them. We have all been bad, small, petty, unlikeable, cruel, downright mean. Authors are not special "problematic" beings, they're just more public. Part of being an adult is recognizing that without mercy for our fellow human beings, and ourselves, we'd all be condemned to death. Reading fiction should help us understand that we're all irreparably tainted with evil, every system is corrupted, every line is broken. And like, that's okay. That's what it means to be alive.

I regret to inform you that Ask Jeeves is dead. The site closed yesterday. Web 1.0 lost another founder. Ask Jeeves: 3 June 1996 - 1 May 2026. Send no memes.

No, the white man federated this great nation, because when they got here the indigenous didn’t have a single fucking building on the entire landmass. They were ridiculously backward primitive peoples with shockingly low IQ’s and a tendency toward cannibalism. Their lives were uncivilised and brutally violent. They were conquered, having been totally unable to govern or defend their territory. Pretending we did something wrong by bringing them into modernity is fucking ridiculous. Next.

How does this guy know where I work

Jesush Cwisht..

Fuck 'em... here you go

The ABC never covers the 'death in custody' of non-Aboriginal people. Now, why is that? It's to convey the perception that the number of non-Aboriginal deaths is so few that they're non-existent or not worth reporting. It's also to imply racism. It's time to defund the ABC.

The whole premise of the “Welcome to Country” is that whites very presence in the country they created is illegitimate. There’s no unity to appeal to. It’s an inherently hostile act with the explicit purpose of deconstructing Australia.

Dear Muslims of the Australia. My family and I have decided to move to a Muslim country. We haven’t picked which one yet — we’re still shopping for the best benefits package. Obviously, all my neighbours want to come too. And their neighbours. And their mates. And their mates’ mates. Before you know it, half of Australia will be turning up with suitcases and a vague sense of entitlement. As a large Christian community, we’ll need a few small adjustments: Please start building churches immediately. Proper ones with bells. Loud bells. We’ll also need certain streets closed once a year for our processions. Don’t worry, it’s not five times a day — we’re not animals. Every supermarket must stock proper pork, bacon, sausages, and baked beans. We are a minority now, so you’ll just have to be understanding and accommodating of our way of life. We’re bringing all the dogs. Expect many happy Labradors shitting on your pavements. You’ll need dog parks, and you’ll need to smile while we walk them past your mosques. While we’re at it, your religious holidays are a bit… much. They might offend the Christian community, so we’d appreciate it if you could quietly bin them. Thanks. In schools and workplaces, our children and staff must be allowed to wear large crucifixes, eat ham sandwiches in the canteen, and generally radiate Christian vibes without anyone clutching their pearls. We also demand prayer rooms in every building, plus translators because we can’t be bothered learning Arabic. If any of this is refused, please send a list of police station addresses so we can report you for discrimination, Christianphobia, and general nastiness. One more thing: if my kids burn your flag because Australis just won at football, please be understanding. I’ll give them a really stern telling-off. Maybe even make them write “sorry” 50 times. Finally, we’d like generous benefits, free housing, and pocket money while we “integrate” over the next three generations. Work is optional, obviously. Appreciate your tolerance in advance. After all, diversity is our strength! Yours faithfully, A Very Reasonable Christian

Your plastic Tupperware drinks cooking oil like a sponge drinks water. That's why no wash works. Polypropylene sits at 30 mN/m surface energy. Olive oil sits at 32. Water sits at 72. The plastic and the oil are nearly the same family of molecule. They bond on contact. The mechanism is solvent chemistry. Polypropylene and polyethylene are long hydrocarbon chains. Cooking oils are also hydrocarbon chains. "Like dissolves like" is the basic rule. After about 30 minutes of contact, oil molecules slot into the microscopic gaps in the polymer matrix. The surface swells. The container becomes an oil-saturated polymer. This is why soap fails on the 5th wash. Soap is amphiphilic, one end grabs water, one end grabs oil. But it can only act on what's actually on the surface. The oil that absorbed into the plastic wall is sitting below the working zone. You're scrubbing a surface that has nothing left to remove. Same mechanism explains why your curry-stained Tupperware never recovers. Turmeric and tomato pigments dissolve in oil. The oil dissolves into the plastic. The pigments come along for the ride and embed inside the polymer wall. The orange tint is structural now. Glass doesn't do this. Surface energy around 300 mN/m, roughly ten times higher than plastic. Oil sits on top. Water displaces it instantly. Soap finishes the job in one pass. That's why your grandma's Pyrex from 1985 still looks new and your six-month-old Tupperware looks ten years old. One number on a materials chart. That's the entire difference.

My life became increasingly at risk after I exposed mass fraud in Democrat states, where Democrats would rather defend the fraudsters than the person exposing the fraud. The rhetoric and attitude from the party you belong to is a major problem. By calling people fascists and Nazis, eventually enough people will believe it. Then saying, “Political violence is political cowardice. It is unacceptable in all forms,” is cowardice given the words shouted from your very own mouth.

@lastplacecomics Rubbin sax in her wounds

🎤Ladies say YEAH🎤

24/04/1982: “Old football was crap” “The standard was poor” “All long balls, no skill” Mick Channon’s goal for Southampton vs Liverpool in 1982 disproves all of the above and more. You won’t see a better team goal. Pep who?

Even the flûte was like “bro… I didn’t know I could do this either” 😭🎵 This absolute legend took the plastic recorder we all suffered through in 6th grade and turned it into Dire Straits’ “Sultans of Swing.” Zero shame. Maximum talent. The flute is now in therapy. #SultansOfSwing

In retrospect, this was quite prescient

Your kids shouldn't have to tiptoe around you over a juice spill. But if they do, you're the one who trained them to do that. I know because I did it. Not through yelling or anything dramatic. Just through my reaction to every small thing. Muddy shoes. Broken glass. Spilled milk on a floor I'd just cleaned. Each one got the same tension from me, the same edge in my voice, the same energy that told everyone in the room I was barely holding it together. I thought I was being serious about fatherhood but really it was exhausting. What actually shifted things was figuring out the difference between what matters and what doesn't, and being honest about how much of what I was reacting to genuinely didn't matter. Kid tracks dirt inside after I told him to take his shoes off? I hand him the broom and move on. Forgot the water bottle again? Guess you're thirsty. Natural consequences work fine without me turning it into a lecture about responsibility and paying attention. The juice spill is just juice. It was never anything else. I was the one making it something else. Once I stopped doing that, a few things happened that I didn't expect. The house got lighter. My kids started joking around with me, which sounds small but it wasn't, because they hadn't been doing that. They'd been too busy reading my mood. And when I actually do get serious about something now, they notice. It lands differently when it's not all the time. I still care about the real stuff. How they talk to each other. Whether they're honest when something goes wrong. If they're putting in effort or just waiting for it to be over. That stuff I stay on. But a Tuesday mess on the kitchen floor? I don't need to lecture or get mad about that. That's just Tuesday. The extra energy you get from letting the small stuff go is real, and you feel it by dinner. That's the energy that's left over for the things that actually count.

Rage baiting mosquitos, amazing work.

This gives me new respect for Jussie Smollett. He bootstrapped his fake hate crime and paid for it himself rather than having SPLC organize and fund it for him. Support your local mom and pop hate crime hoax operations before they’re all put out of business by the big guys.