SimpBatman

Good morning chat

@creepydotorg Bro 🍆 must’ve been out of this world

Former NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak drove 900 miles non-stop to confront her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend, reportedly wearing adult diapers to avoid bathroom breaks. Armed with a knife, a BB gun, and trash bags, she attacked the woman in a parking lot but was arrested before she could cause serious harm.

I hate you romantically

@TheSalesBull1 She’ll read to you when your eyes are weak and weary.

Every time my daughter asks me to play or read a book I imagine myself at 85 years old, begging God to go back and be asked one last time

@ive_been_on @ANOINTEDCHIEF That’s what they called my uncle before they took him away.

@SliceWaifu @ANOINTEDCHIEF the tickle monster

I had a tickle fight with this girl while cuddling after great sex (1st link) we experienced childlike joy together, a month later no contact. Something is wrong with the world

@s4m31p4n More like, you date a white guy and he’s like “hold on, baby. I gotta return some stuff to the FBI store… Tubi and Taco Bell later?”

You date a white guy and he’s like ugh I have to go I have a school shooting at 12

@treederpah43062 Of course not.

do you ever get the feeling people are lying to you in order to prevent your suicide

Punto de Vista: Es el 2003, y estás apunto de ver tu primera mona china desnuda.

How bro looks at you when he’s got light and dark monsters in his graveyard.

@kevinbolk @hoshizorarock The sour patch kids one tasted great, but it made my face red and itchy.

@hoshizorarock You’re just jealous your country doesn’t have this nectar of the gods that tastes like Froot Loops and makes your face tingle (and maybe your heart explode.)

アメリカ人の皆さん 落ち着いて聞いてください エナジードリンクは今日からアメリカの全州で禁止です。

@LarryBundyJr The indie fighting game Pocket Rumble has a character called Hector who fights with a similar mechanic. He takes damage every time he uses a special move, but he builds meter in the process. By pressing both attack buttons, he can release his meter and get half his health back.

Just a thought. What would you feel about a design mechanic in a game where a sword you use was connected to your health bar? The more you attack, the lower your health becomes, but the tradeoff is the attacks become more powerful? You'd regain all health as soon as you stop.

Randomly remembered these have been sitting in a box since I was like 13. Discord mutual offered me $80 for the lot. I respect the hell out of that lowball.

probably like those blood pressure machines at walmart

@ANOINTEDCHIEF Somebody else tickled her better. Ain’t rocket science.

This aged fast.

@KNRingabel There’s nothing quite like those old Aris streams where he’d get brutally upset playing Tag 2. “CHECK THOSE SHOES, PLAYA!”

Top Hardest Fighting Games (No Order) 1.) KoF XIII (No DLC) 2.) USF4 3.) Tekken Tag 2 4.) VF5 The skill ceiling in these games go insanely high, and are the pinnacle of fighting game greatness imo. Watching these games are a blast.

Really old repost