Tarris

Can’t wait until Mr Beast clones himself.

I haven’t been posting, but you know I stayed posted😴

Pick any Girlscout. ANY FUCKING GIRLSCOUT. I'm winning every time.

Joe Biden is NOT surving a bag of these

@nyamelli you're right.

like in a genuine way mhm

I'll let a bitch gaslight me for a little bit of head.

Mr. Beast just unlocked the N word pass.

About to go to sleep with my keys in my pocket.

@SUBWAY I already did. I haven’t gotten a response yet.

MAN WTF @SUBWAY Fucked up my order... I order double bacon... AND I GOT NO FUCKING BACON!!!

I always thought Instagram was a weed delivery service, and Instacart was a cart delivery service.

I have nothing but absolute DISAPPOINTMENT for the Rocket League players that I get queued up with.

The only D she's gonna get is Disappointed...

Shitting with the door open>>>>>

Are you an old lady’s purse? Cause I just want to run away with you😩

*tucking in my girl with daddy issues* Me: yep, that ain’t going nowhere.

*shits my pants* Me: hmm, must be the house settling

Didn’t know what to do after sex, so I handed her my business card.

Snapchat: Are you sure you want to abandon your snapsterpiece? Yes bro. It’s a picture of my fucking cock…

Worker: hey, welcome to the lost and found Me: hey, any clits show up here recently?