Smartangel

@BuildWithNugwa @SimplyKalby @kenkenlewu Emphasis on the empty stomach oh and they will soon move out to a self con apartment oh and he should have fun seeking for private moment to bang cuz they sent the kids home for not paying sch fees

@SimplyKalby @kenkenlewu By their fruit......... Now he can bang in the morning, afternoon and night on an empty stomach.

My friend resumed from leave and met someone else sitting at her desk. She earns ₦500,000 a month. The HR department received her resignation letter via email during her short leave. They confirmed it and asked why one of their best was leaving. The response came back: “I got a better offer.” HR acknowledged the resignation. Confused, she rushed to HR. “Sir, have you replaced me?” “You sent your resignation letter, and it was acknowledged.” “No! I didn’t send anything.” HR showed her a copy of the email. At that moment, she knew it was her husband. He had sent the email and deleted them. She confronted him: “Why did you do this to me?” “I’ve warned you about how that job is affecting me. No time for good sèx, and you come home late every day. We’ll find something else for you to do. My salary was just increased to ₦150,000 we’ll manage.” Two months later, he was sacked.

My female neighbor came to borrow my gas yesterday afternoon the moment I returned from work. I had bought food from a nearby eatery on my way back, so I gave it to her without hesitation. My gas was almost finished but I figured it would be enough for whatever she needed. Guess what? She did not return it yesterday. This morning, before church, I needed the gas to heat water. I went to her place and asked for it back. She said the gas finished while she was using it the previous evening, so she refilled 1kg into the cylinder. Then she told me to return it after use because she was not done with it. I thought she was joking. I casually said "otilor" (it's gone). Her response floored me. "Na me go refill your gas for you? Abeg return am before you go church." I was wowed. But I said okay, no problem, and collected it. This is someone who borrows my gas on a regular basis. At least twice a week. I did not return it. And she will never see my gas again. Let her do her worst. Above all, love God.

@GloriousGod01 You Dey whine me ? The audacity

I met this girl in school who was living with sickle cell disease, and despite everything, I truly loved her. We did almost everything together and grew very close. She didn’t really have family support because she was an orphan, so whenever she needed blood, I stepped in and donated for her… countless times, out of pure love and care. But as time went on, she kept falling ill more frequently and needed blood more often. It started to take a toll on me physically and emotionally, and at some point, I became exhausted. I made the difficult decision to end the relationship, although I told her we could still remain friends. She didn’t take it well. After I stepped back, I also stopped donating blood for her. Not long after, her condition worsened, she became very ill, and sadly, she passed away. Since then, I haven’t been able to forgive myself. I keep thinking that if I had the chance to go back in time, I would have stayed and given her all the support she needed to survive. The guilt still weighs heavily on me 💔

@he_is_dreyy Sooner or later sef the hospital might have stoped receiving your blood it’s not safe giving out blood that frequently so the best you can do now is pray for her soul to find eternal peace and you move on don’t let anyone push guilt down your throat

@he_is_dreyy What’s with all these comment of you left when she needed you the most ? All the other times he donated blood suddenly doesn’t count ? If he hadn’t donated when she needed it then she would have probably still kpai . Y’all should calm down with the guilt tripping

@he_is_dreyy And you too sef calm down with blaming yourself would you rather you kpai In her stead ? Unless you had the absolute cure to her sickle cell and refused to give it then trust me you have no blame in her death so don’t let guilt eat you up

@Ukanwanne10 @Abdul_Ahmad_ Thought I was the only one that saw it

@Abdul_Ahmad_ 29th March 2028 As how na 🤦🏽

PRESS RELEASE PLATEAU STATE GOVERNMENT ORDERS 48 HOURS CURFEW IN JOS NORTH LOCAL GOVERNMENT AREA Following the tragic security incident that occurred at Gari Ya Waye community Angwan Rukuba today Sunday 29th March 2028 resulting in the loss of lives, while several others sustained varying degrees of injuries. The Plateau State Government in conjunction with security agencies wishes to inform the general public of the imposition of a 48 hour curfew within Jos North Local government Area with immediate effect,commencing from 12 midnight of 29th March, to 1st April, 2026. The government under the leadership of His Excellency, Governor Caleb Manasseh Mutfwang strongly condemns this barbaric and unprovoked attack on innocent citizens and assures the public that all necessary measures are being taken to apprehend the perpetrators and bring them to justice. Citizens are urged to remain calm, stay vigilant, and cooperate fully with security agencies by providing any useful information that may aid ongoing investigations. Signed: Rt. Hon. Joyce Lohya Ramnap,mni Honorable Commissioner for Information and Communication March 29, 2026

@Abisco__ Living legend 🤣🤣

A very short story about a man who carried an olosho and pretended to have died because he didn't want to pay.😭🙆‍♂️😂

A 27yr old cultist assaulted a 17yr old girl. The father being a military man took his child to the hospital for testing to verify and document forceful entry upon other physical bruises on her body. He went with his daughter to the boy's family. Saw the boy. He asked his daughter: "mama, is this the boy that raped you". She said yes. Immediately, the boy started begging, saying it was a mistake and blamed the devil. The family people begged to settle out of court. The girl's father ordered his boys to take him outside. He pointed his gun, kra kra, gbez. Point and kill. Till date, there's no case. It was later revealed that the boy was a notorious rapist whom the family has sold lands worth millions to settle cases.

@AkposMalafakumo Case closed

@Austeiin @AkposMalafakumo Exactly

@AkposMalafakumo Atleast the parents will stopping selling lands and property to settle case

@Firaouch @AkposMalafakumo 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@AkposMalafakumo Totally unrelated but please which gun dey sound “kra kra gbez” 😂 😂

@Precomagic1 @Hybrid_Ola I almost typed “ Watin you smoke “ until I understood the sarcasm

@Hybrid_Ola The mother is a wicked woman, she shouldn’t have arrested her, the daughter is going through a lot, she has mental issues. The approach should have been, show her love and concern instead of arresting her.

This gist is really crazy A 17-year-old girl went out with her friends, booked a hotel, and later called her mum claiming she had been kidnappêð She told her mum, who is a local farmer, that the abductors were demanding ₦500k Her mum involved the police, and she got arrested

@ELJC101 @AmaechiSharon @Lagosdsva I hope when it’s your family member you will maintain the same energy

OFFICIAL STATEMENT The Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency has taken note of the multiple tags and public concerns regarding a video currently circulating on social media, in which a young woman shared her experience of sexual assault at her residence on her TikTok page. We want to state clearly that we have seen the reports and we are actively making efforts to reach the survivor to offer immediate support and appropriate intervention and ascertain the location. Our team has initiated contact through available channels and will continue efforts to establish communication. If anyone has credible information that can assist us in reaching her directly and safely, please contact the Agency by sending us a DM on any of our official social media channels. The Lagos State Government maintains a zero tolerance stance against all forms of Domestic and Sexual Violence. Sexual Assault is a crime, and every survivor deserves protection, care, support and justice. We encourage survivors to speak up and assure the public that reports are treated with utmost confidentiality and urgency. Our contacts remain accessible via the following platforms: 0813-796-0048 0-8000-333-333 USSD: *6820# (MTN) WhatsApp AI Chatbox: 0812-893-7058 Website: ekoselfreport.ng We will provide further updates as appropriate. #SGBVNotInMyLagos

@AdageorgeA This day and age where POs is everywhere I waited for the part where she would have gone to make a withdrawal hmmm it’s well with you people

What is this?

Aura wey pass aura

@aneneeugene952 @instablog9ja Open mouth and next thing is to vomit nonsense

@instablog9ja When she was working, you were busy chasing men who doesn’t even rate you, learn from your mistakes and tell it to your children.

Lady deletes childhood friend’s contact after struggling with comparisons and self-doubt Thoughts?

Oloshi!

Somebody pour me water abeg 😭 This is too much 😭😭😭