The Village Madman - urban edition

Ufala 101: How to turn a road into a paved river. @KeNHAKenya @Ma3Route @SakajaJohnson

@Mastardcesh Kwani pombe ndiyo hutusi watu

"Ruto hakunywi pombe lakini anatusi watu daily." — George Natembeya

@DrJuma_M Where was he over the weekend?

CONFIRMED:The fact that Kenyans are viewing Sifuna from the point of what he will offer to kenyan rather than his tribe means we have finally killed Tribalism,Thanks Gen Zs.

@Kenyans That would mean that Oburu is possessed.

The spirit of Raila Odinga lives in Oburu Odinga and not in anybody else - Esther Passaris

@sholard_mancity Who is the other candidate?

If Irungu Kang’ata decided to vie for president as an independent, would you vote for him over Ruto, Maraga, Okiya, Rigathi Gachagua, and others? Or does he stand no chance? 👀

Even after getting a whole week's notice bado tumetokelezea

There is a new star over Nairobi called Nyayo Stadium

@HonMoses_Kuria Can't be very bloody if participants are busy talking about their aging wife's.

When Rigathi Gschagua said that President Ruto asked him not to tag along his spouse to the National prayer breakfast because Mama Rachael was not there, I called him out on national TV for pettiness. By the same vein Hon Kimani Ichumgwa is grossly out of order for dragging Pastor Dorcas Rigathi into the mud only because of her husband. Since the next phase of this war will be vicious and bloody, let us have our version of the Geneva Convention. KEEP FAMILIES OUT OF POLITICS !

@MutahiNgunyi How does that affect mama mboga?

IMF NUMBERS: Kibaki left an economy WORTH 5.1 Trillion. Ruto GREW it to 17 Trillion shillings. Ruto Economy is 3 times BIGGER than Kibaki's. But we are NOT feeling it. WHY? Kibaki took the 5.1 Trillion to Kikuyus. Ruto took the 17 Trillion to the Rest of the COUNTRY. That's WHY!

Chinese men now requesting virginity for marriage youtu.be/QIvmXJ5qLfA?si…

The law is the law, a yellow line remains a yellow line even when it has faded. @Ma3Route @SakajaJohnson make sure this revenue is accounted for on Monday. @C_NyaKundiH @Kenyans

@HustleBitch_ So from carrying to wearing, what's the issue?

Wait...what??? RFK Jr: "My vision that is every American is wearing a wearable (electronic data collection device) within four years."

@Kenyans We all have a homebase

Kipkaren residents in Nandi County hold protests in defence of DIG Eliud Lagat

@_Mohkay Jilinde, kaa nyumbani.

Polisi wanatuua🙆🏽‍♂️🙆🏽‍♂️🙆🏽‍♂️ Yaani hadi sio kwa cell pekee. That’s a clean mf headshot🙆🏽‍♂️🙆🏽‍♂️🙆🏽‍♂️🙆🏽‍♂️ NANI ATATULINDA

@C_NyaKundiH That is how it is done across the civilized world, only savages leave a trail.

Hidden plates

Where do these tyres appear from to cover manholes?

Anyone know if @SuperMetro_Ke have a route from Westlands to Nyayo Stadium or Capital Center?

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

Making him sing along is diabolical 😂😂😂😂

@BellahPoetry Outsourcing services

Most men are just single, they're not even trying dating. Why is this the case?