Some Guy🇺🇸

@Sadie_NC No

Nope, none here!

@Fuctupmind 'Morning Mike

Good morning ☕☕🇺🇸

@TrumpsHurricane I'll let Stephen Fry speak for me...

Muslim Imam is offended by American women wearing makeup and no burqa. What is your advice for him ??

@CastellKim Bob Rivers

@winkgnz Patience, young one... it's just around the corner

53 trips around for me! Did not get my wish, it was for spring!!

Time to go to work! [twirls mustache]

@reddit_lies A few DOZEN???

My wife is mapping out a few dozen yard sales this weekend. She wants to know if there’s a way for a computer to find the shortest route between all of them.

@CopaExMachina They're wrong. There's no amount of time that can pass and heal this abomination: youtube.com/watch?v=NFrTl0…

They say time heals all wounds. They said this before the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy premiered.

@horrormuseum "Canadian Bacon, Jalapeño Peppers and Pineapple" "I Regret Nothing!"

What do you want said on your TOMBSTONE?

@62_Continental @ingelramdecoucy This seems like a good idea to me.

@ingelramdecoucy In honor of this post, I will be watching Kellys heroes tonight.

We should’ve moved on from WWII stories to Cold War stories with the USSR as the Big Bad ages ago, it was the next logical place to go, but Hollywood couldn’t bring themselves to do it because it’s run by a bunch of commies who think the Reds were the good guys

This story gets recycled every other summer - and it’s always hilarious.

@GrrrGraphics Nah. I think I have maybe a dozen or so "real" followers. The rest are either Elon, his mom, his assistants, lottery winners looking to give me money, crypto "investors" want to take my money, etc., etc., etc. "Reach" is something I don't worry about.

@0hour1 If you have any of the small stand up roasters, a crock pot also works well for cornish hens. Although, you will have to crisp them in the oven before serving.

I used a crock pot for ribs I blame google for any mistakes lmao 🤣

@shoveitjack I had to give up on the idea of a nice yard

Just roto-tilled my entire front yard so I can lay down new sod this weekend. And now my arms are about to fall off.

@SenFettermanPA It's your party, Senator. Suppose you tell us?

Here in Philadelphia. Truly appalling. These assholes chanting for the death of our servicemembers. Where’s the Dem outrage and condemnation?

@catsatwarpspeed I suspect the Great Bird of the Galaxy would approve, given what's been done to his creation.

What the #startrek haters are missing completely is that it's ALL STARTREK being canceled, not just the ones they don't like. #StarfleetAcademy

@visegrad24 The Caliphate is probably not going to permit the Church of England to exist much longer, so this is probably not as important an event as people are making it out to be.

Former cancer nurse Sarah Mullally has been installed as Archbishop of Canterbury, becoming the first woman to lead the Church of England. Mullally, 63, formally assumed the role in January, with Wednesday’s ceremony marking the start of her public ministry as both head of the Church of England and spiritual leader of the global Anglican Communion, which includes over 100 million members worldwide. The ceremony is attended by Prince William, Catherine, Princess of Wales, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer, and representatives from many of the communion’s 42 member churches. The Church of England ordained its first female priests in 1994 and its first female bishop in 2015.

@ClownWorld Not unless I'm voting in Europe. I don't know which country that's from, but that front plate is definitely NOT from any U.S. jurisdiction.

Her vote counts just as much as yours.

@JesterJum I larfed

If you don't laugh at this, go see a therapist 😂

@Magnum_CK My parents: "Look both ways"

Something I taught my kids and adhere to myself: always assume drivers aren’t paying attention and don’t see you.