Ritam Chakraborty(Modi's family)

One of the best Dhurandhar edits so far 🙌🔥

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@firemadeher Mail

if ur seeing this someone is about to message you to tell you, in their own way, they want a future with you in it comment “mail” to claim

Questions to ask her instead of “How Was Your Day”

on pinterest.

@DionysianAgent It was amazing man

when a woman is genuinely attracted to you, she will imprint your image into her animus and begin molding her internal masculine essence according to you you can tell when it happens, there's a subtle growing metamorphosis of spirit within her an alchemical process where she no longer fully acts as herself but begins acting like you it's a very endearing and amusing process to witness if you pay attention to it, like she wears the mask of your character and ponders herself while trying you on the deeper she commits and surrenders to the process, the more the mask grows inside of her, eventually evolving and maturing as a masculine part of her soul a reflection of you within her, partly you and partly her the stronger it grows the more profoundly she may begin wearing and using it, a form of masculine measure by which she now reflects and weighs things it's hard to explain the feeling, but it's as if she claims a piece of your soul that she now holds and guards within herself as both a source of power and a lens from which she can look out at the world the same can also happen vice versa as a man with the anima of course in a healthy relationship dynamic the two individuals both imprint their anima and animus upon each other this is also why engaging in many casual relationships is corrosive for the spirit the more people you are intimate with, the more your soul splinters and your anima/animus becomes shards of glass reflecting all your past relationships back at you it happened to me when i was younger i didn't understand intimacy or relationships, as a teenager and in my early 20s i didn't have healthy relationships with women, i saw them as prizes to be attained and consumed i could never fully love them because i couldn't love myself, which led to many casual relationships, a focus on appearance over sustenance, mainly just dating to resolve my own urges, often too insecure to commit and dating several at the same time to have a security in having options so i wasn't vulnerable and the first 2 real relationships where we were exclusive and committed and met each others families and did the whole thing - i ended feeling mistreated and they both cheated on me i didn't understand why they did it at the time, which just blackpilled me on dating further the first of these relationships was on and off when i was 15 - 17, so after that ended i went on a killing spree and just started sleeping around and dating like it was a game i was trying to farm she went crazy after i broke up with her, she couldn't mentally handle it, she tried to hit me with a false pregnancy, then she tried to trick me into getting her pregnant, whenever she got drunk i would have like 80+ missed called from her, she would show up at my apartment in the middle of the night and knock on the door and the windows for literally hours at the time i didn't understand and just thought "ah stupid crazy bitch" and everything she did made my respect for her decrease until there was quickly none left in hindsight i understand it was all because of animus conditioning, even the cheating was an effect of feeling 'over charmed' by the animus and being scared of surrendering to it and thus cheating out of insecurity to feel a false sense of personal empowerment to compensate but to my naive mind i of course didn't understand any of that and to me it just made me mistrust women further, i believed most women were sluts, they couldn't be trusted, liberalism and feminism had corrupted the western woman beyond repair, etc but at the same time i still continuously dated and had affection for a lot of women, it wasn't like i had a direct incel hatred or need of revenge towards women, it was more a condescending lack of respect i simply believed that most women were just too stupid to know any better, it wasn't their fault as such, but rather they were just too emotionally incompetent to understand that they've been conditioned into sexually degrading themselves through the villainous notion that exploring their sexuality and experiencing many partners is supposed to be liberation i had extreme right wing views during my teenage years, so i believed all the redpill and blackpill stuff to a large degree selling drugs was even part of it, in my mind selling drugs was the most 'based' thing a young man could do, the ultimate red and black pill, spitting on the rules everyone else has to play by and doing things your own way the idea that a form of anarchy lifestyle was in fact the most noble response to a corrupt world at this point in time i was around 20 years old and the most dangerous point of my life i was very black pilled, addicted to drugs, had little care for my own life, full of unresolved childhood trauma, and all i cared about was the experience of wielding power this led to my eventual second real official relationship (which was much more toxic than the first one) i was 20 and she was 27 when we first started dating i was primarily a coke dealer, and since coke is mainly a night time drug i would be awake at night and sleep during the day as a coke dealer over half of your business dealings happen in clubs and bars, it's your environment if you're in the game, it's where all the customers are, it's where you meet other drug dealers and talk game, it's noisy enough so that you can't get wire tapped, usually you'll know the owners of most places and they'll be in on it, etc we would go out together, she would watch me sell coke and get into fights, she would carry money and drugs for me, etc she would get turned on by masculine force and so would intentionally rile me up if we went to a club together and i left her alone because i had some business to take care of then she would find the person that looked the most fucked up and start flirting with him because she wanted to watch me fight him i had little impulse control back then and was well known around my city as a drug dealer, and especially a coke dealer, respect is everything, allowing someone to disrespect you is a sign of weakness which signals to other dealers that you can be moved on so automatically if i saw someone flirt with my ex during that time period i would just go up and knock them out without warning, i would assume they had some sense of who i was and what was going on and chose to play along with her anyway, testing their luck, and thus they were deserving of what happened to them (at least thats how i karmically rationalized it to myself) the club owners knew me so usually the guy who got jumped would get kicked out instead of me, and my ex would be gushing and feral, begging me to take her home to the apartment or out to the bathroom really i was just a child's mind inside the body of a monster of my own making, everything was just running on impulse, while i may always have had my intellect, my actions often ran a course of their own it got worse and worse eventually she started negging me further, from flirting with other men to directly provoking and degrading me to work me up she would use the age difference to act like i was just a kid, she would tease me and call me a little boy whenever i was upset, she would call me a pretend gangster whenever i went out and left her at home, she would make me feel like i wasn't making enough money or doing enough for her even though i made 10x her salary and paid for the majority of her expenses these things can all seem playful as i write them out, but really there's a line between playful teasing and emotional terrorism, which is what it evolved into she kept becoming more emotionally abusive, we began getting into more fights, it became a kind of crazy violent love, on and off again full of emotionally abusing each other, and then getting back together, and then oscillating - staying in these constant emotionally reactive states of heightened tension it was during this period i also started being investigated and charged by the police the relationship was rotting my mind, i was losing strategic composure, i was growing more violent and impulsive so i also felt beholden to her, kind of emotionally hostage against my own insecurities, scared i wouldn't be able to find better than her because 'who wants to be with someone thats gonna go to prison' the idea of going to prison messed with my head, like a black storm cloud constantly above me i couldn't get rid of and as time went on she got worse she started doing cocaine behind my back and secretly taking from my supply i remember telling one of my close friends about all my relationship issues during that period and all he answered back was: "yeah but think about it bro, you're fucked up, what kind of normal girl would want to be with you, you find the type of gf that reflects who you are" it was harsh, but true in a way, and it made me stay in the relationship longer than i should one saturday night i kicked her out of the apartment because she was saying some vile degrading shit to me, i don't even remember what it was i just remember getting so mad and telling her to fuck off her friend lived just across the street from my apartment so she went to her place and then they got ready to go out together i went out later that night and did my thing and eventually later saw her and her friend, drunk, standing with her friend's boyfriend and his brother, where his brother had his arm around my ex i went up to her and asked her wtf she was doing and she answered "you told me to fuck off" i couldn't be fucked dealing with her bullshit so i just looked the guy in the eyes and told him if he touches her then i would wreck him, and then i flicked my cigarette in his face and left a few hours later one of my friends calls me and tells me he just saw them all walking towards her friends apartment together at the moment i knew she was gonna cheat to test my boundaries, and i was livid my friend found me and went with me to the apartment, knowing what i was going to do and begging me along the way to reconsider but nothing could change my mind i kicked up the lock at the external door, i kicked up the lock to the apartment hallway door, i went up to the apartment and knocked until her friend opened up as soon as she saw me she tried to slam the door, but i forced my way inside she kept trying to stop me and hold me back and yell at me not to come in, but i didn't care i walked up to the living room door and it was locked, she yelled at me not to go in and i told her "i know shes in there" and then i punched through the door and pulled the lock off the hinge and opened it i saw my ex standing in her underwear with a t-shirt she had quickly put on i saw him standing in the corner struggling to put his pants on something inside me snapped, everything felt effortless, i was completely numb inside, i didn't care about anything, my behavior was automatic i jumped on him and began punching him and kicking him, i choked him for a bit, i dragged him over to the living room table and began slamming his face against it repeatedly all while both of the girls were hitting me and trying to pull me off him, but i couldn't feel anything, i remember just feeling numb, it all just felt completely effortless like i was in a trance and the only thing i could think of was keeping my word from when i told him earlier that night that i would wreck him his brother was standing in the doorway in a state of shock calling the police and stuttering that they need help all in all i was probably only in the living room for 5 minutes, but in the trance state of mind i could have been there for an hour, i didn't really have a perception of time, i was just numb eventually my friend runs into the living room shouting "the police are coming the police are coming, we gotta go bro" i snapped out of my momentary insanity and back to reality and look up to see my friend yelling while i'm slamming the guy's head into the table i get a grip of myself and rush out of the living room and we both take off running i stayed at my friend's apartment that night to avoid the police i ended up getting a battery charge and like 200 hours of community service for what happened that night afterwards i broke up with her for good obviously but that's when she started getting really crazy she couldn't handle that i broke up with her, some how in her twisted mind it was all a game and i was never going to leave her she stole things from my apartment while moving out after she moved out she would show up at my apartment several times a week she would literally sit in front of the door for hours on end without leaving, and she would do it several times a week for months the one time i made the mistake of letting her in she exploited all my vulnerability and did everything she could to manipulate my sympathy she gave me an extremely long sob story about her father issues, she confessed all her unending love for me, tried to convince me that we're meant to be together because we're both broken, that she's the only one that will ever be able to fully understand me, etc.. i let her sleep over on the couch that night and then i woke up in the middle of the night where she was calling my name from the kitchen i go out to the kitchen and she's completely naked holding a kitchen knife against her left breast telling me that if i ever leave her she's going to kill herself, and if i don't want to be with her then i should say it now so she can just finish it i take the knife from her and comfort her and get her to calm down and let her come in and sleep in my bed with me while telling her i need to be alone because i'm going to prison, it's for her own sake, etc the next day after she left i blocked her everywhere and never let her in my apartment again she threatened to expose everything she knew about me to my entire family and so on, but i just ignored it at that point i was just pretty numb towards life, i had so many stress factors that i often didn't really care whether i lived or died, which just made me volatile and dangerous and reckless before i got my shit together i was just hanging out with gang members doing drugs and random bullshit basically every day eventually something snapped inside me and i couldn't take my self-loathing any longer, and i realized that the gang lifestyle leads to nothing but depression, death, or prison it had its moments and its charm, but the common pattern i noticed the deeper i got entrenched was that all the gang leaders i had respect for when i was younger, i noticed they were all secretly miserable when i got to know them i learned the exterior 'dont give a fuck, gang gang' persona was just a mask that hid behind it a black hole of depression, trauma, family issues, etc and they were all like this until i realized i myself too was like that at that point i decided to make a change, move cities, sober up, started studying engineering, get ahead with my life again instead of just waiting to go to prison and this was when i met my 3rd 'real' gf she was different from the previous two and most others i had dated she was innocent and pure of mind in a way i hadn't experienced yet, she saw the world optimistically, she had a natural nurturing spirit the type of person to approach anyone who's standing alone at a social event and start talking to them because she doesn't want them to feel left out her heart was the most pure heart i had met until then she healed me, made me feel like a person instead of a monster we started dating 4 months before i went to prison and i even told her upfront i was going to prison for potentially 2 years, and she was still okay with it it was like she cured my fear, the rotten notion that had been cooking in my mind that i was unlovable and only a fucked up woman could love someone going to prison with her love for me it all felt easy prison wasn't that bad, i had mostly made it out to be much worse in my head than it was in reality the time i was in prison was harder for her than it was for me the real prisons were the ones i had made in my mind throughout my life i got my shit together studied hard, nearly finished my degree, within a week of getting out of prison i got a good entry level corporate job that my parents were proud of it all felt so cathartic and we were together on that arc of my life for 4.5 years i often believed she was the woman i was going to marry and have a family with i felt like we were a yin and yang, that she possessed a feminine innocence that soothed me while i possessed a masculine brutality that protected her but there was unfortunately something missing she lacked an intellectual and spiritual depth and it made me feel so guilty, because i felt like i had used her to nurture me out of hell and i couldn't just leave after i got healthy again the guilt would haunt me, i felt i owed her for being there for me while i was in prison i would try to help and repay the debt in any way i could, i helped her through her degree, i helped her with her jobs and career progression, i helped her with a lot, anything i could to get the guilt out of me eventually when i had my spiritual awakening or psychosis or whatever you wanna call it i began feeling isolated while it was charming before that she couldn't fully understand my ideas and would give this innocent housewife with her scheming supervillain husband kinda vibe that others would point out it wasn't enough for me when i had the awakening experience i became obsessed with my ideas and everything i was studying, and it drove me crazy that she couldn't understand me it drove me crazy that nobody could really understand me, it made me self-isolate luckily my real work was mostly remote so i could manage to maintain a job through it all, but i began isolating further and further eventually i just felt like no matter what she's done for me, i can't start a family with someone who doesn't understand and get me a lifetime of being misunderstood would be its own torture so i broke up with her eventually and i've been celibate ever since because of everything i learned when i was younger i had a fragmented anima, shards of different women in my mind, leading to constantly comparing them and never being satisfied, leading to toxic abusive relationships in my last relationship i learned to heal my anima afterwards i learned to find my true anima and integrate it that's primarily why i've been celibate ever since it's out of honor for my anima a kind of self-honoring of the soul i've learned and realized that the people we are with either honor or disgrace us regardless if you are a man or a woman when you have sex with someone who does not fully honor your anima/animus then you disgrace yourself you degenerate your soul by splintering it into various frames it was not made to fit i've also learned the effect of animus imprinting, how powerful it is, and not to let myself casually do it or do it to a woman that isn't my full match to ensure i don't cause unnecessary emotional entanglements i want to find the embodiment of my true anima and not let myself be blinded by lust or comfort i want to fill my soul with its highest becoming and will settle for nothing less

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