ril Gosling

I feel like I tweet just enough to remind some people I'm still alive. Not that I want anything from them, but so they know there still may be good in the world.

Patient: Are you from here? Me: Absolutely not. Patient: Thought I detected some Northerner in your accent. #nurselife

Hear me out: Recast all the Asgardian Marvel with Skarsgärds.

Hey, @SecretaryPete, this is our first tweet, and we want to use it to invite you to our new bookstore this weekend. Join us for our first day of bookselling on 10/29! #Indiebookstore #shoplocal #downtowngrayling #bookstore

BLS and ACLS have really convinced me I'm doing something wrong as I've yet to find a topless man, unresponsive in the middle of nowhere.

@SouthwestAir This is a simple plea for a Coke. I'm on a delayed flight and stopover (maintenance on SW971). Row 20. Seat A. The crew is on the other side of the maintenance so I can't get their attention. Thanks! 🤓

Conversation about sleeping & dreaming with my siblings: Them: I dreamt about Dad's wife and woke up angry. Me: I dreamt about eating bread by accident and deciding "Fuck it. In for a penny..." One of us doesn't have problems sleeping. Hint: It's not them.

OH: Odds are you're not playing with water-logged balls.

@guyincognito You have that problem too?

My last hospital had a sign that said "Never pass up an opportunity to pee." in the nurses' loo. My current hospital has a quote from Philippians.

I'm in the ICU. This will be on my patient's turned all the way up.

@RojMacD I have international calling. Totally worth it!

@SpacePirateRil You can leave a voicemail for me anytime. I guess it would be a bit too expensive really. Your voicemails were always nice to hear tho.

I enjoy leaving voicemails for friends. I sing. I randomly recount my day. I discuss how we're going to take down the patriarchy & crossstitch forever.

My new parking lot abuts The Body Farm. If you know me, you know how morbidly excited I am about this on a multitude of levels.

Slept in my Sarah McLachlan t-shirt and woke up believing I failed you.

So... 9:30 am might be a little early for Metallica on the deck for this neighborhood.

We have entered "Is it chocolate or a freckle?" season.

Trying hard not to take it personally, but the barista just missed typed my name as "Aprik"... Happy Friday?

I'm crying. Best thing about moving to Tennessee? We could finally watch @FlemingSport call a game. Now he's leaving? Life is cruel.

@ArvinRam1 I'm down. Was thinking about starting The Women's Party this morning.

We. Need. A. Labor. Party. Now. Now. Now. Now.

This is going to get worse b/c husband isn't here AND I don't have his last name. So I've brought my birth certificate & SS card b/c those are also required. & hopefully those prove I've elected to move to this conservative hell. Getting my global entry card was easier than this

Navigating how to transfer my license to this state means I have to get a driver's license. To get a driver's license, I need utility bills with my address. B/c the bills are all in my husband's name, I need my marriage license.