Sammy Spudgun

Your first meme was probably a Chuck Norris fact. Mine was. He died yesterday in Hawaii at 86, ten days after posting a video of himself throwing punches on his birthday. His caption: “I don’t age. I level up.” This is a little tribute. The real Chuck Norris was wilder than any meme about him. He lost his first three karate tournaments, then went 65-5 over the next decade. Six-time undefeated world middleweight karate champion. Black belts in five different disciplines. First person ever inducted into the Black Belt Hall of Fame, and the only martial artist to be named to it three separate times. His student Steve McQueen told him to try acting. That led to a fight scene opposite Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon (1972), which became the highest-grossing film in Hong Kong that year. Then Walker, Texas Ranger ran 9 seasons on CBS, 194 episodes, broadcast in over 100 countries. But his biggest cultural moment started with a college freshman’s joke. In 2005, a Brown University student named Ian Spector built a random fact generator on the Something Awful forums. It was originally about Vin Diesel. When the novelty faded, Spector ran a poll with 12 celebrity options. Chuck Norris wasn’t on the list. He won anyway, by write-in landslide. By early 2006, the Chuck Norris Fact Generator was pulling 20 million pageviews a month. This was before Twitter existed, before Facebook was public, before YouTube had a single viral hit. A college kid’s joke website about a semi-retired action star became one of the most visited humor pages on the internet. It spawned six books (some hit the New York Times bestseller list), two video games, and a scene in The Expendables 2 where Sylvester Stallone’s character recites a Chuck Norris fact to Chuck Norris’s face. When asked about his favorite fact, Norris said it was: “They tried to carve Chuck Norris’ face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t hard enough for his beard.” The meme ran for 21 years. Most memes last weeks. Chuck Norris Facts introduced more people to Chuck Norris than his movies ever did. For everyone born after 1995, he was never an aging action star or a karate champion. He was the guy who counted to infinity. Twice. The guy whose tears cure cancer, too bad he never cried. The last thing the internet saw from Chuck Norris was him throwing punches on his 86th birthday. Which is, honestly, the most Chuck Norris fact of all.

New story idea: a rogue government agency has hidden their top AI assassin in the Metaverse, as nobody ever goes there so he won't be found. BUT now they only have 48 hours to extract him before the site goes down, and he's sworn to tell the world everything he knows if he isn't rescued in time. A crack squad of Metanauts have to infiltrate the Metaverse: an edgy hacker with a secret, a tough military type who only plays Civilization 4, and a robot dog called Pippin. And maybe that guy from The Lawnmower Man. I don't know. But will they exfiltrate the AI assassin, or terminate his programme? Something something linkjacking, somebody dressed in leather, a secret hidden in FORTRAN which only Pippin speaks, exploding goggles, mind uploading ninjas, the Nintendo Power Glove, that big floating stone head from Zardoz. And there's an actual trolley problem, with a real lever and everything. Oh yes, and daylight savings time acts as a plot twist. And it's filmed in 3D. Working title: "Virtual SEALs: Kill or Captcha." Stars Jason Statham, Dakota Johnson, Antonio Banderas and Matt Berry as the voice of Pippin.

Chuck Norris has passed away at the age of 86.

It’s legit hilarious that Jim Carrey, an esteemed actor who is semi retired and famously doesn’t like doing sequels Has played Dr. Eggman of all characters 4 times in a row and is pretty much the only thing he’s done in film for a decade

@Ginger_Tucci Me going down to the greyhound DWP (department of wags and pets)

‘Loads of dogs out of a job’ standing in the dole queue behind 6 greyhounds next week.

@squidias @politicalmath I stand corrected, then. Still, I can believe he'd be in favour of this even with my own misgivings.

@SpudSammy @politicalmath That's just a longstanding bit of misinformation done by the ai company (that he admittedly did work to create a voice bank with). The producer and the studio have said multiple times that they didn't use that technology in TGM (that was his real voice, just clarified)

After Philip Seymour Hoffman died, the director of the Hunger Games still had 2 scenes of dialogue for his character They played with the idea of doing a CGI version but rejected it because they felt that PSH always brought something unique and unexpected to every performance & creating a CGI version of him would be betraying his creative genius They re-wrote the movie in order to give his character's lines to another character because it wasn't dignified to create a fake version of him

"Oh no! There are 2 jedi heading for the bridge! Whatever will we do?" The humble droideka:

My neighbor told me the market keeps killing his Concords so I asked how many Concords he has and he says he just goes to an Asian conglomerate and gets funding for a new Concord afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding Concords to the market and he started crying

A lot of ink has been spilled and YouTube channels born out of discussing Abrams’ disdain for the Prequels. It’s apparent in every facet of TFA. To the point of having a planet made to evoke Coruscant, which now functions as Coruscant, get blown up and forgotten. But something

timmy turner: everyone in my life is abusing and neglecting me crocker:

@wwarrior_1 @khaliltooshort

L M F A O i was right shout-outs to @khaliltooshort for playing thru this bullshit you can finish it in 5 hours too kek

@kamikazecash @TheBrancaShow Its an argument that assumes nobody believes in the sanctity of life. "You're telling me you DIDN'T jump at the opportunity to legally kill another human being? Well your life CLEARLY wasn't in actual danger then!" An extremely American way of thinking.

I’ve always found it kind of dumb that the only way to demonstrate that your life was in danger was to shoot to kill immediately. You actually stand a better chance with a self-defense case if you kill someone who wasn’t really a deadly threat, vs shooting to injure someone who was an actual deadly threat. If someone is trying to kill me, and I shoot them in the leg, a lawyer is goin to argue that I didn’t really need to shoot them, as evidenced that I didn’t shoot to kill. It’s a circular argument and it’s dumb.

This is insane advice. Lawyer. Expert in use-of-force law. But if you DO decide to do this, good f'ing luck. I'll stream your trial for clicks.

@seadtrag @nuhre_ I agree but bad examples. Larian with Baldurs Gate 3 is a better example.

@nuhre_ Men in suits chasing money almost always lose money. The most successful games are the ones with the least executive interference, the least focus-grouping, all that. Rockstar, CDPR. Letting artists work is a recipe for success.

As if I didn’t already hate BioWare and EA enough, every two business days I’m reminded they had the cheat code for printing infinite money with Dragon Age and Mass Effect and someone in a meeting said: “But what if we pivot everything to live services? The single-player fanbase will LOVE that.”

@Jimmyjams197027 @nuhre_ My favourite part of the game was uninstalling it

@nuhre_ My favorite part of Mass Effect Andromeda was when, on launch, you couldn't make someone with European features with my (admittedly pale) complexion, but you could make an albino black person with my (admittedly pale) complexion

@BellaBaddie__ Autobahn by Kraftwerk

If someone offered you $1,000,000 to listen to one album for 48 hours straight, which album are you choosing ?

holy shit best photo of the year just dropped

@ChironTheMage I could do Rimworld easy

If your answer isn't a Roguelike, Esport, or MMORPG, you'd probably fail. You need to be able to play a single game for Three Thousand Two Hundred Eighty Five hours (3285) to get the $5M.

Hot take ig: I just think smurfs is just a bad franchise

@HarmlessRadio @newwnnue @Perskuta7120 @ClayPuppington @ReviewsPossum For every good point Marx makes, and he DOES make some strong points, he makes two more that are utterly divorced from reality. For an actual good writer on class struggle, try Paulo Freire

@HarmlessRadio @newwnnue @Perskuta7120 @ClayPuppington @ReviewsPossum A key thing you've got to understand about Karl Marx is that he was the privately educated son of a lawyer who wanted to study philosophy and literature but was made to study law by his dad so he'd have a practical degree. In other words he was a bougie midwit.

I remember a thread where a communist asked their followers what they would do once communism took over, and nearly every reply was some variant of artist or therapist. No one wanted to put in the years of training it takes to be an optometrist purely for the good of the collective. Unsurprisingly, there also wasn't anyone who wanted to work in construction, farming, sewer line maintenance, or any of those other dirty and dangerous jobs that people generally only do because the pay's good. They all believed they wouldn't have to work to keep society going because someone else would do it, and that someone else would do it just because they felt like it.