Colleen O'Shea

Raccoons look like little bandits. Could you imagine if they didn’t just pick through your garbage, but instead you walk outside and BOOM they stole your patio furniture! These are the things i think about when i’m up too late...

@xkatinthehat @YoungVanDiest @The_real_MattS But was there snow?

When you just ordered @Outback for lunch then have this email in your inbox 1. Bad Influence 2. I totally would if you would put Aussie Chicken Tacos on the dinner menu #lunchisntonlyfortacos 🌮🌮🌮

Kept waiting for @ShaniaTwain to just appear during the opening of the #CMAawards and all you’d hear is “let’s go girls” and everyone would lose their minds

New favorite way to describe someone: “She’s about as organized as a box of packing peanuts”

Was told today Bill Nye the Science Guy is not a scientist but actually an engineer and I just don’t need that negativity in my life

@abbiemcGuire You should write these down and make a book

Ever make a naked man (patient) pinky promise to take his meds whilst he is still in the shower?

@YoungVanDiest @CBrobston Right like don’t ruin the ending!!

Four years ago, a field goal post went missing from Marshall University’s football stadium...it was never found #WeAreMarshall

Stories From a 4 Year Old: “Matthew was the shark of the solar system and he ate every.little.fishy!”

Fyi they have apparently answered our calls for holiday cups someone had one at work today☝🏻

Random thought...for those that drink cold drinks at @Starbucks do you ever get bummed the cold drink cups don’t get a holiday design too?

When you’re having a professional conversation at work and a tree falls down outside the window and you just look past the person like

@McDonalds @McDonalds go to a location today, coins minted in Ohio, 14,000 locations with the coins, get a Big Mac chose the location that doesn’t have em😒

Me: The Fourth of July is over. Why are people still setting off fireworks? 6-year-old: America didn't go away.

Explaining to my coworkers that @Pitabilities will be at our office a month from today

Kind of disappointed they aren’t calling it Star Command #SpaceForce

@CSchon15 Lettuce is trying to kill everyone eating healthy is so dangerous!

I’m excited to announce that after a strong round of food poisoning brought to you by the infamous contaminated romaine lettuce eating healthy is no longer for me. Thank you. (& I should start watching sad news again to know these things)

It sucks caring for people who clearly don’t give a damn about you

@abbiemcGuire I’m more shocked you got to use the phrase “gaggle of ducks”

Is anyone shocked that the apartment I was assigned is back by wetlands and riddled with a gaggle of ducks that quack at 2am?