Stand Up Honolulu

@jasonllevin Fuck Donald Trump from Hawaii!

F u Trump from Kansas

@LeadingReport Why does it matter if Orange 45 dis a 3 hour interview, if 2hrs and 45 minutes was rambling lies?

BREAKING: Harris campaign offered to appear on Joe Rogan’s podcast but requested that Rogan travel to her and limit the interview to one hour. Rogan felt the best way to do it was in his studio in Austin.

Happy Wednesday & FUCK trump.

@LeadingReport WOW! What a well thought out, and actionable plan. #Sarcasm

BREAKING: Trump’s statement on the Middle East crisis: “Let’s not have World War III.”

@ksorbs I guess discriminating against black people for housing in the 70s. Counts as a clean record for you. nytimes.com/2016/08/28/us/…

77 years with a clean record, now 91 indictments? There’s no way people actually believe this is real, do they?

@creation247 Sounds like Blackish. The Gerard Carmichael Show.

Can you name a single show???

@LeadingReport Any actual evidence of this or are you just saying it? No link to a news story? 🤔

BREAKING: At least four elections in the U.S. have been overturned by courts this year after voting irregularities and fraud were discovered.

@billburr Overturn or not. If the kid didn't have control of the ball (which he clearly did not) how do you call it a catch?

How that’s even questioned as to whether it’s a catch is why that rule needs adjustment. It was an incredible throw and then the fact that that kid was able to maintain the catch while he had a defensive back hanging on his arm is incredible. To not give him a catch and then give the other team an interception on something like that would be ridiculous.

@ConanOBrien @jordanschlansky Muff Cilantro

.@JordanSchlansky and I are starting an Argentinian acoustic band. We need a name.

Father Gawd, yo chirren have put footage of the Montgomery brawl over *Try That In a Small Town* and I am coming to meet thee.

@Sophia_Nyx It's cool. Nobody was gonna say Justice League lol. #TheTown

without saying justice league, fav ben affleck film?

@jessbessuwu @InternetH0F I was raised by wolves, and you don't have much meat on you.

Would you introduce me to your parents while I’m wearing this? 💓

😭😭😭😭

Touchdown tour! #Maui 4/27 #Kona 4/28 #Oahu 4/29 #Phoenix 5/11 #Tucson 5/12 Tickets at grahamelwood.com

@melissavcomedy We would love to have you swing by #TheWorldFamousStandUpHonolulu if you have time while you're in town next week.

@tariqnasheed I don't know who any of this people are. The woman, the person tweet hating. I just don't like how everybody on here acting like they haven't smashed a musty person before? #Liars

She is wondering why nobody wants to "clap her cheeks"... and she says she wont accept "the bare minimum"... all while sitting there with a safety pin holding her shirt together, with dirty fingernails, and a musty aura #MakeitMakeSense 🤦🏿‍♂️

The Notorious B.I.G. ft. Total - 'One More Chance (Hip Hop Mix)' [1995] (prod. Rashad Smith & Sean 'Puffy' Combs) #hiphop #RIPBIG

@OfficialMinks The Scientific name is "Soda Pop"

Is it pop or soda?

Best thing I’ve seen all day 😭