Adam Staunton blue tick

Random bits in films I'll never forget: 1) "Diplomatic Immunity!" *gets shot in the head* "It's just been revoked"

The thing that bugs me about Christmas themed porn is how due to scheduling commitments most of it is filmed in Summer

@werfma Haha hope you're ok too mate

Saw this mural on County Road, probably the most impressive thing in Walton that isn't my dick

The fucking FLOOD of influencers rushing to make a 'pov: trump during the assassination' vids 😂

Made a song about milfs

*to a sobbing woman* is there a mr. carriage

Just took my dead Nan to vote, forgot to bring her I.D tho so she was turned away 😓 "as dead as Thatcher!" I shouted, pounding her urn onto the ballot table, no one cheered 😓

When people give fake answers at comedy nights

Lil clip from last Friday @HWCCLiverpool

Fish girlfriends be like "babe if I was a worm would you eat me?"

Done a lil rap cos I'm bored

I think Hunter Biden looking good for his age is proof that crack don't crack

Clocking the regulars when you redownload Hinge

Leaving implications aside 'Princess of lesser mortals' sounds like a cool character in GOT

Guys is it sexist to say "nice ass, bitch" to a bitch that has a nice ass?

Christ hasn't the cow suffered enough?

As a self diagnosed adhder sometimes I block/unfollow people cos I get it into my head that they don't like me, then they realise I've unfollowed them and don't like me anyway ☺️

Damn that a lot of hickeys

Oh to be an unlicensed vape seller outside Anfield right now

Made me spit out my water reading but tbf that might be the e coli too