Stefan Barbas

@zachpogrob Welcome to club, once you start cycling you never look back

Cycling fit from yesterday I lift once a month You don't need to lift if you have adrenaline/war in your veins. It gives you a pump 24/7

@DanielPriestley @ZackPolanski Daniel you’re arguing with people who have never spent a day of their life in the arena of operating a business. They don’t understand the emotional labour it takes to be responsible for not only your own life but thousands of others.

The latest big idea from @ZackPolanski is to make sure CEOs can’t earn more than 10X what their workers are paid. The shelf stackers at Tesco are going to love earning £900K a year. Either that or they have to find someone to run a £70Billion Public Company for £250K per year - about a third as much as a partner at EY. These people don’t live in reality.

The people pleasing is killing your soul. You say yes when you mean no. You laugh at jokes that aren't funny. You agree with opinions that make you cringe. All because you're terrified that if people see the real you, they'll leave. But here's the brutal truth: they're not even staying for you anyway. They're staying for the performance. The right people will love your authentic self. The wrong people will leave when you stop pretending. Let them go.

Nobody tells you that success can be incredibly isolating. The higher you climb, the fewer people understand your struggles. Your old friends think you've changed. Your family doesn't relate to your problems anymore. You're surrounded by people who want something from you, but not many who just want you. Success changes the game, but it doesn't change the human need for genuine connection. If anything, it makes you crave it more.

Most people think identity work is selfish. They say "just be grateful" and "stop overthinking" when you question who you're becoming. But here's what they don't understand: you can't give your best to the world when you don't even know who you are. You can't build meaningful relationships when you're performing instead of being present. You can't create authentic work when you're copying someone else's blueprint. Finding yourself isn't selfish. It's necessary.

You know exactly what you want to do with your life but you're waiting for permission that will never come.

Most people wonder why their relationships feel shallow. Here's why: You're listening wrong. You listen for facts when you should listen for feelings. You wait for your turn to talk instead of making them feel heard. You give compliments about what they own instead of who they are. Every conversation either creates connection or kills it. There's no neutral. Learn the chemistry and watch your entire social world transform.

I've watched ambitious people sacrifice relationships for achievements. They work 80-hour weeks, skip family dinners, ignore old friends, and prioritise money over deep connections. Then they reach their goals and realise they have no one to share it with. No one who truly knows them. No one who cares about them beyond what they can provide. Success without connection is just expensive loneliness. Don't make that trade.

If people seem distracted when talking to you, you're probably asking questions that create anxiety instead of connection.

Most people think they're good conversationalists but they're just polite energy vampires.

You know you're playing it safe when you: - Have ideas but never act on them - Keep saying "soon" to everything - Know the next step but won't take it - Worry more about judgment than impact - Hide your gifts to avoid criticism Your current identity is comfortable. Your future self is not.

The greatest skill is emotional regulation: - It determines your relationships - It shapes your decisions - It controls your energy - It influences your success - It affects your health Master your emotions, master your life.

The more you try to avoid discomfort through easy dopamine hits, the more uncomfortable your life becomes. The more you choose difficulty upfront, the easier your life gets. Your brain learns to crave what you consistently choose. The solution isn't detoxing. It's building a life so good you don't want to escape from it.

The 2-Hour Rule: Stay off all devices for the first 2 hours after waking. Why? Your dopamine stores are full in the morning. Whatever you do first gets the biggest dopamine hit and becomes what you crave tomorrow.

I'm a therapist and I hate to break it to you but: Social media detoxes don't work. Here's why you keep failing (and what neuroscience says actually works):