Steph

@FOS He can use those to chop….the jerseys up

Mizuno honored Chris Sale for 17 years of loyalty to the Japanese brand with a custom sword.

@aubrey_huff Aaaaand now I’m being accused of sexual assault

Fellas, next time you go up to a woman at a bar do this. I’ve done this countless times, & it works 9 times out of 10. Walk up to the bar & stand confidently next to her. Order your drink from the bartender & immediately look into her eyes & don’t break contact until she does. While looking into her soul shout out to the bartender confidently, “And please my good sir get this little temptress whatever she’s drinking.” Introduce yourself in a seductive & deep confident tone which intrigues her sexually proving you’re a confident man not afraid to ask for what he wants. Then make an offhand remark which should make zero sense given the situation. Her curiosity is now peaked. When the bartender delivers the drinks, ask him for a napkin & a pen. While you’re writing your name & number on the napkin speak these words in your best James Bond impression which should be spoken seductively, slowly, calmly, mysteriously, & with a touch of cocky arrogance, “Nice to meet you sweet tits, & thank you for the drink, I’ll be sure to get the next one when you meet me later at the bar I’m headed to.” Just slide the napkin to her, while graciously letting the bartender know to put your drink on her tab. Then simply walk away leaving the bar. This sounds like a dick move, but you will be amazed how many times you’ll get a text wondering which bar she should meet you at. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

The only time it is acceptable to complain about something that you have no control over is when I or someone I like does it

My emotional state relies heavily on how my girlfriend treats me that day. I’m sure that is healthy and has nothing to do with my overall lack of confidence as a man.

Hyped for these WNBA playoffs

@thedulab Think like a girl 😂 sometimes it really is that simple

See random signs as confirmation of your manifestations coming true. Spend money as an act of self care with the confidence that it'll somehow always find its way back into your bank account. Believe that you can simply believe yourself out of negative energies. Think like a girl

@barstoolsports This generation is cooked

Kids these days don’t even know who Tim Lincecum is

The makings of this war and overall global unrest started right around the time that @Chilis got rid of their 2 for 20. And don’t even get me started about their all day happy hour and free bottomless chips and salsa Nice country we used to have…

Why are commercials 100x louder than the show?

@JayadityaSethi Golf

It's crazy how cracked kids get at stuff they start really early - instruments, chess, skiing etc - the compounding quickly becomes unfair I wonder what the highest leverage thing is to introduce early

Sickening

Is this good?

@Chilis Yo haha hell yeah bro

11am beers at Chili's

@TheConnorPils All ball

On what fucking PLANET is that not a foul? Are we actually kidding? And the announcers too cowardly to call it out. Just horrible #illini

@247Rays Nope sorry the Tampa Bay Sun already occupy

Where the #RaysUp stadium should be

I went to a place called Pete’s bagels today that was completely sold out of, get this…bagels. Maybe idk how bagel places work but if there’s one thing there should be enough of until closing, its bagels.

Bullpen game tonight

Question for people under 35 - have you ever heard of Dance Dance Revolution?

@CamineroSzn Getting hot at the wrong time. A man only has so many hits in him during one lifetime and spring training is not the time to use them.

26 PA in and my goat is batting the fucking St Petersburg area code

@Pitchin_Prowess Can you please explain further?

Hottest of takes The reason arm injuries are up the past 20 years is because of the words. “Your front side is flying open”