Stephen Malcolm

Englishman: "That's your dog?" Welshman: "Aye" Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?' Welshman: "Dog doesn't talk.” Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doing all right." Welshman: (look of shock) Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman) Dog: "Yep." Englishman: How's he treating you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play." Welshman: (Look of total disbelief!) Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Welshman: "Horse doesn't talk.” Englishman: "Hey, horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool." Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!) Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Welshman) Horse: "Yep." Englishman: "How's he treating you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather." Welshman: (Look of total amazement!) Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" Welshman: "That sheep's a f00king liar!!”

JUST IN: Brentwood Police say 'Reacher' star Alan Ritchson acted in self-defense, say no charges will be filed. The development comes as new footage appears to show Ritchson's neighbor blocking the road while he was on his motorcycle. "After reviewing available evidence, including video footage and witness statements, authorities determined that no criminal charges will be pursued," said the Brentwood Police Department. "Mr. Ritchson’s actions were found to be in self-defense." "Although a potential reckless endangerment charge was considered, Mr. Ritchson declined to pursue charges." The case has been closed.

🚨 WWE ranks The Hardy Boyz’ shocking return at WM 33 as the 25th greatest WrestleMania moment ever. Way too low. Legit One of the loudest pops ever. Easy top 10, maybe even higher.

The Bahrain and Saudi Arabian Grands Prix will not take place in April Due to the ongoing situation in the Middle East the Grands Prix, alongside F2, F3, and F1 Academy rounds, will not take place as scheduled While alternatives were considered, no substitutions will be made in April #F1

RONALDINHO: THE ONE AND ONLY 🇧🇷 Diving into the into the journey of one of the greatest players of all time, with exclusive access, never-before-seen material, great victories, delicate moments, and testimonials from iconic figures in the sport such as Lionel Messi, Neymar Jr., Roberto Carlos, Gilberto Silva, Felipão, Carles Puyol, Galvão Bueno, among many others. Premiering April 16 on Netflix.

Here's how the fire in Glasgow city centre started. Does this business look legitimate to you? No signage. No company logos or advertisements. Yookay vape shop has destroyed part of our cities history. This is spreading to Central station and the central station hotel.

🚨🗣️ 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚: Ruud Gullit is RIPPING into the current game of football! "I have decided to STOP watching football. I don't enjoy our sport anymore. I watched Arsenal vs Chelsea, what an absolute GARBAGE match of football!" "I see players trying to create corner kicks, trying to create throw-ins, I see ball boys ready to give towels to the players. Football has become absolutely HORRIBLE. I hope that this is not the path we are heading at." "I am waiting for players who will take on defenders again, someone like Lamine Yamal. I am missing the joy! I just don't enjoy football anymore." "Everyone is executing tasks on the pitch. Where are the players dribbling? Where are the players with b*lls? WHY IS EVERYONE PASSING?! PASSING! PASSING! PASSING!"

🇩🇪 German referee Patrick Ittrich has proposed a number of potential rule changes in football: 1️⃣ For a tactical foul in midfield, award a free-kick 17 metres from goal. How many of those fouls would we see after that? 2️⃣ If a player rolls around three times and calls for a doctor, bring one on — then make him wait on the touchline for three minutes. How fast do you think he’d get back up? 3️⃣ If a player verbally abuses the referee, send him off for 10 minutes to cool down. Go for a quick cycle to stay warm before returning. There’s something to learn from handball there. 4️⃣ Why is a referee being surrounded by 10 players after a decision? For me, bang, bang, bang — three red cards. Play seven vs ten. That would sort it out. Do you agree with his changes? 🤔

Pint on his own after a shit day at work. I fucking rate it and would do exactly the same

If you love Formula 1, you’ll love this: 8 minutes from one of the greatest races in the sport’s history, with Max Verstappen as the main character.

Grab a drink and enjoy. Cheers 🍻

Aye Scottish football is shite but thats the best super Sunday you will watch all season.

God bless Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.

🚨🚨INSANE FOOTAGE🚨🚨 The man who went viral for streaking at the Super Bowl Alex G released the crazy footage from his point of view of getting tackled by #Patriots WR Kyle Williams. One of the wildest videos of the #NFL season. BONKERS 😳😳😳

Saying all this about Aluko while she is sat next to him 😅

The most fucking outrageous pool shot you’ll ever see…

Everyone’s back to 0-0. RT this if your squad’s got next 🏆

SAM DARNOLD HAS ONE OF THE GREATEST REDEMPTION STORIES IN SPORTS HISTORY. Darnold was drafted 3rd overall by the #Jets in the worst situation possible. New York traded into Carolina which was an even worse option. Sam bounced around. He ended up in Minnesota and they got rid of him despite winning 14 games and leading them to the playoffs. Darnold signed with Seattle and in his first season he won the Super Bowl. Legendary comeback story.

There's a quarterback in this Patriots game seeing ghosts and it ain't Sam Darnold.

@ochocinco @NightcapShow_ Only 3 scores in it , you should wait

Should we start @NightcapShow_ early or will the Patriots come back as they did against the Falcons❔

@ochocinco 1 big play from pats could change full game

@ochocinco Defences are too good and the qbs not top tier enough to overcome, cagey game, walker unbelievable, no risks by coaching, hopefully opens up 4th quarter

Thoughts on the Super Bowl so far, I know the left tackle & guard can use a little help, Patriots should go quick game to get Drake in rhythm, 5 step drop & PA that have to chip or max protect, thoughts❔