Yomi Quinnley🧪💙@YomiQuinnley
Stop doom-scrolling, take a second, and breathe.
The warmth of friends and companionship can sometimes burn us with a raging inferno we refuse to see.
We fear the cold grasp of loneliness, so we cling for the warmth of friendship. However, those who hold too tight will scar themselves with burns and wounds, both mental and sometimes physical. There are some out there who are a gentle, warm light, but often we have to go through the flames to find it. Those who use you, those who mistreat you, those who say nice things to your face, but scorn you behind your back, those are the flames we need to caution ourselves never to get too close to, even if being alone feels like it might hurt more.
I promise you, it's never worth it to stay. You can't extinguish their flames or always change it. And even if you do, what made that friendship so special will now change because you snuffed out that fire of what made them special. Changing those around you will not give you the friendships and companions you want, it will only put you in the dark.
You can't heal in the places you get hurt, nor can you always change it. It's only when we remove ourselves from these situations that we finally can look within ourselves and find the spark within ourselves. You may not realize the cycle is there, always bringing yourself to friends that hurt you, because you fear loneliness, but the truth is, you're better off alone for a short while to heal. The longer you stay in these flames, the more it will hurt, the more you'll even grow numb to your own feelings, and you will never find your happiness.
Sometimes, you need to let go. Someone can be a part of your life for awhile, but they don't need to be there forever, just like you shouldn't be in pain forever either. You will get hurt, you will navigate friendships over and over until you find the right people for you who accept you for who you are, but you don't need to suffer through it. Suffering is a choice, but pain is an invincible, yet brief part of the journey.
Often, you're not the one to ruin it. You're not the one who chose to start the flame. In fact, it can often be neither person's fault. Friendship can be difficult, flames can become a roaring inferno and burn you both, or become a whimpering ember and everything fades quietly. But you didn't ruin it. Your friends, your family, your circles. You are not meant to be the glue that holds them together.
You are meant to focus on keeping YOURSELF together.
Do not worry about fixing everyone and everything, especially when it's damaged from the start. That is never your job. It was broken long before you got there. So why do you still think this all depends on you? When the truth is, your happiness is what depends on you.
Find those who light your spark and keep you warm, and do not risk going into the flames of those who will hurt you. Do not burn in circles and friendships that you know are using you. Instead, it's okay to be cold for a little while on your own and to focus on yourself, turning the page in life, and soon finding the real people who will be the light and warmth of your world.
One you leave the blinding flames of a bad friendship and are in the darkness once again, only then can you see the millions of sparks out there waiting for you to touch their lives, as surely, one of them will touch yours in the most beautiful way possible.
