Twisted T

Sometimes I think the rest of the United States doesn’t deserve the Midwest

From Nixon's memoirs: One spoke up and said, 'I hope you realize that we are willing to die for what we believe in.' I said, I certainly realize that. Do you realize that many of us when we were your age were also willing to die for what we believed in and were willing to do so today? The point is that we were trying to build a world in which you will not have to die for what you believe in, in which you are able to live for it.

Hayden Christensen makes a Star Wars joke while golfing. “I avoided the bunkers for the most part… yeah I’m not a fan of the sand, it does get everywhere.”

At 4 am this morning, as I laid in a deep slumber, I was called to action by my wife who had discovered a spider the size of a half dollar in the bathroom. Without hesitation I arose to combat the intruder. Claire handed me the slant board I’ve been using for rehab, and I immediately knew the spider had no chance. It took but 1 attempt to strike down my opponent. I received hugs and kisses for my bravery and fell back asleep with confidence. Have a day gentlemen. 🕷️

@softboywin One of my favorites from back in the day

Lane Kiffin the second he leaves Ole Miss

Jim Miller's son is cancer free ❤️ 📺 @paramountplus

Sean Strickland was disgusted after seeing his face on the broadcast 😭 “Oh f*ck. Jesus Christ, dude. I’m an ugly motherf*cker. Oh my God. Looks like a horror movie. I look like I’m part of AIPAC.”

Sean Strickland you’re Captain America now!!!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Kelloggs Star Wars Spoons

Damn. Tough week for the Bauer haters. “He’s washed” -> no hitter “Teammates hate him” -> endorsement from a first ballot hall of famer “Velo isn’t there” - sits 95 touches 99 with 10ks Sold out crowds. Sold out autograph sessions. Vlogs on fire. Life is good right now. Thanks to everyone who came out and made this week special! Love you guys!

44 Days Out Fam

Remember when we traded Brittany Griner straight up for “The Merchant of Death” gotta be hands down the worst trade in the history of the world. Like we didn’t even get a conditional pick? No future considerations? Just awful asset management from Sleepy. -People’s

When the last people left on your side are Mark Levin, Laura Loomer, Randy Fine, Lindsey Graham, Ben Shapiro and Ted Cruz, you need to take a good look around and say, “Wow, I’m a gay retard”

if i walk into a hotel room and see this bad boy i know ima be wakin up the next morning in hoth

*text from Max Homa “hey would you wanna go to this guys bachelor party he’s a producer on a podcast” *Tiger reads text*

Fuck Europe, my next overseas trip will be Japan

The X timeline right now

𓅓𓂋 𓊪𓂋𓅂𓋴𓇋𓂧𓅂𓈖𓏏…