Timothy Tanner

@ashleytervort Said no one else….

I think by the end of today I’ll be able to confidently say I’m tired of looking at my ass 👀💀

@tweetzbyidil My daughter had this “friend” who was quite the little bitch. Parents were complete twats. When my daughter decided not to invite the girl to her 12th birthday, the girl and her parents made a scene. I had to make up a story about my daughter having cancer just to shut them up.

My daughter wasn’t invited to her best friend’s birthday party. She was twelve years old. And absolutely devastated. For years, those two girls had done everything together. Sleepovers. School projects. Weekend trips. They were practically inseparable. So when invitations went out and my daughter was the only one in her friend group who didn’t receive one, she was heartbroken. I and my wife was angry. Even other parents thought it was cruel…

@KINGGGE_ One time I was scrolling FB, saw some moron post an old dusty bike for $75. Borrowed my neighbor’s beat up truck, put on my worst clothes, went over there. Gave some BS sob story, sucker bought every word, gave me the bike and some other crap for free. Sold it all for $100!

I listed my daughter's old bicycle on Facebook Marketplace for $75. Within an hour, a message came through. "Can you hold it until tonight? I just got off work." Around 8:30 p.m., an old pickup truck pulled into my driveway. The driver's side door was a different color than the rest of the truck, and the muffler sounded like it was hanging on by a thread. A man climbed out wearing a faded construction vest covered in drywall dust. He looked exhausted.......

@GrowingUpRetro You cut the best part…she reduces the number on the board based on what he spit out.

One of my all-time favorite movies. Can you name it?

@barstoolsports @realTylerZed

Which city with a team in all 4 major sports leagues has the LEAST amount of championships?

@janninereid1 Let’s check back in 214 days to find out why she didn’t leave. Predictions?

This woman says that her and her son are leaving America in 213 days to "escape fascism"....and she's angry that she has to do that.🙄😏🤦‍♀️ What's your response/advice to her? 🙄

@JosBtrigga Man, it’s terrible when people do things illegally. There should definitely be consequences for people that violate the law. Like, we should hire a group to arrest people that don’t follow legal orders. I wonder how that would work….

My stepdad was illegaly abducted by ICE. If this can happen to me, a Congressional Candidate running in one of the most high profile races in the country, what will they do to you?

@EdKrassen You misspelled “illegal aliens”….

In Texas, ICE is going to construction sites and arresting hard-working immigrants. This immigrant shows the officer a work permit, yet he’s still detained. This is Trump’s America. Get ready for those construction costs to skyrocket.

@mazemoore Trump should just deliver this speech word for word and watch libs heads explode when someone plays them side by side.

2013. Obama talks about how incredibly irresponsible it would be for Congress to shut down the government in order to blackmail a President into making concessions. Be sure to pass this along to Democrats.

@HustleBitch_ Is FAFO a word?

National Guard troops carrying rifles are now patrolling the Smithsonian Metro Station in DC. What’s the first word that comes to mind when you see this?

@BattleByrd @CartNarcs Time for you to dominate!

Sorry I can't! I'm locked in to the German Shopping Cart Return Championships...

@_MLFootball What say you @realTylerZed ??

TRENDING: The Minnesota #Vikings Cheerleaders have two male cheerleaders for the 2025 season, replacing two female cheerleaders from last year. … The team announced Blaize Shiek and Louie Conn have joined their dancing squad for the season.

@ClutchPoints @SportsonPrime Without the f-ing janitor, who’s gonna clean up all the dildos?

"I’m the best player in the world, and I have to go to a communist country to get paid like a capitalist… the f*cking janitor in the arena made more than me.” Diana Taurasi, in a preview of her self-titled show on Prime video 🗣️ (via @SportsonPrime)

@musk_news13 Hi

@DontWalkRUN Those bastards!! I bet they broke his bed, too!!!

BREAKING: ICE agents burst into a home in Miami, detained several undocumented immigrants; including this little boy who is probably traumatized for life!! #NoOneIsIllegal

@Enezator Poor thing was practically cat-atonic when he showed up…

@robreiner Believe it Meathead!

@ClutchPoints 5 steps, 1 dribble. Math ain’t mathin’…

This angle of the steal + dunk from LeBron James is INSANE! 🤯

@gunsnrosesgirl3 This should have ended with the repaired scissors being used to cut open the packaging of a new damn pair of scissors….

Useful tip x.com/tradingMaxiSL/…

@notablyharmless @TheCensoredRock *AK-94

@TheCensoredRock They also make something called a discombobulator that allows you to combine two AK-47s into one AK-84 that doubles its firing capabilities. Banning it would be a GREAT start

This is the power that an AK(automatic killer)-47 has. This does NOT belong in the hands of civilians. There is NO reason anyone needs to fire 47 rounds per second. NONE