BJ

Mexico is Conquering the World 🇲🇽 You can now find tacos in every country Japan included 🔥 👇

@raqisright Those glasses/goggles will drop 5 easy. Just trying to be helpful.

Just 20 more lbs to go!

Carry my book bag into a store... Store worker: Sir you need to leave your bag up front. Me: But then how am I suppose to steal shit?

Ever hear someone say something so stupid that it makes you wince?

@jaylene_ Saltwater is better.

any fishermen here?

@luxemiaa You should have monetized the seat. Double for what you paid plus a covienice fee.

I was sitting in my Comfort+ aisle seat when a man asked me to switch to his middle seat on a Delta flight. He said he wanted to sit next to his wife for their anniversary. I asked which anniversary it was. He said it was their seventh. I said that didn’t seem important enough to switch to a middle seat. He asked me what gave me the right to judge the worthiness of his anniversary. I told him that it sounded like we were on the same page since he didn’t care enough to pay to sit together.

@LillianneMoo Visit the Central Valley of CA

!?!?!? I grew up in SoCal so this look so new to me👀👀👀👀

@StuckeyStop Bucees is the new Stuckey's.

Happy Birthday to my grandfather, born in 1909—the man who took a humble roadside pecan stand in 1937 (right in the middle of the Great Depression… talk about a bold move) and grew it into 368 Stuckey’s stores at its peak in the ’70s. #GreatestGeneration

people will look you dead in the eye and say they are from a place called “corpus christi”

The earth is round and the new 20 story security building in Mexico is leaning.

In country today. MX

@TXzachTX ljcafe.com

@Taco_Expert Have to check it out

When I’m in El Paso, it’s Carlos and Mickey’s on Montwood

I asked my blonde neighbor how she lost her husband Johnny. She told me her sad story. "Well, he needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on his record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was, as they urgently needed to know in order to save my Johnny's life. Tragically, I've never known his blood type, so I only had time to sit and say goodbye. I'll never forget how supportive my Johnny was. Even as he was fading away, he kept whispering to me, 'Be positive, be positive!' That was my Johnny! Always thinking of others.

The TSA guy at JFK at 4:30am today who got so fed up with everyone ignoring him and stood up and yelled “UNLESS YOU ARE A BABY WITH NO ARMS, YOU NEED TO BE HOLDING YOUR OWN BOARDING PASS” is my hero

@seattleiminyou Contact #911

I signed up for a fitness class and they asked for an emergency contact but idk anybody in Washington so I asked the girl signing me up if she would be my emergency contact LMFAO

I think jokes about a women's menstruation is the lowest form of comedy. PERIOD!

My wife left a note on the fridge: this is not working, I'm going to my mom’s house. I opened the fridge door, the light was on, the juice was cold. What the hell did she mean?

@okaynups Boners

Do men get butterflies over girls? Genuinely curious

@papiwontmiss At 61 he probably has another 10-15 years.

My brother stopped drinking and getting stoned at the age of 54. Started working out at 55. At 56 was an apprentice at a Union job, at 57 he got the job. At 61 he learned to read music and play an instrument. You’re never too old to change your life.