Jason Teng

I was going to buy donuts for my co-workers tomorrow, but my manager bought donuts today and my hospital is giving out free donuts tomorrow. Guess it wasn't meant to happen 🤷

Today I learned that prairie dogs go "yahoo!" when they yell

The number of times it said it would rain on my weather app and the number of times it actually rained is becoming more and more disproportionate

@dalton_capps Your best

What am I doing?

@MostDadRoast Dang, that's terrible. I'm sorry you went through that

@TengInAGlass I would be upset and my parents would start singing “nobody loves me, everybody hates me, might as well go eat worms!!” Eventually I would just sing it to myself in my room alone

Looking back at my childhood, a lot of the "fun" songs we sang were actually really mean or crude

I caught a squirrel eating my pumpkin. I think I'll just leave it there for it to enjoy as a treat

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Well that's the first time someone's thought that my stuttering was me laughing at them 😂

Apparently I slept so well last night, I was ready to show up to work 30 minutes early

I really should keep a tally of how often people confuse me for my other Asian coworker

My phone apparently crashed in the middle of the night, but I miraculously still woke up on time without an alarm

I've been on a board game winning streak lately

I think the highlight of my zoo trip was watching a panda piss for like a minute straight. What insane bladder capacity!

It breaks my heart when I see patients that are allergic to Old Bay seasoning, specifically because we're in Baltimore

The guy next to me at the self checkout scanned his bananas at the exact same time I did. Our registers then said "bananas" in sync and I don't know why I found it so funny

Ah yes Sunday, the day when my upstairs neighbors yell Hallelujah as loud as they can

Do shiny Pokemon get bullied for being different?

I wonder how many hours I've spent listening to ads because I'm too stubborn to get Spotify premium

The Earthbound series is my latest video game fascination