Pistachio Disguisey

For today only I will be giving out free new names when you “like” this tweet

Trying to think of a zingy name for these oats that I’ve soaked overnight

Listening to Walk It Out. Little redundant, no?

Bout to slap the bag

Dylan Harper will be best player from 2025 draft (heard an executive say this)

Wife called my “brave” for leaving the house without popping an incredibly ready to pop zit. I roll with a whole different level of swag than you could imagine

@srramtnert Saw this heavy hitter eat a steak and a half last night. Was calling himself “Jumbo”

Bad news for my haters.. piss smells like ravioli + beef stroganoff mix 💯

Name a better feeling than when a homie likes and saves a voice note of yours in the group text

Milk is so good, I actually drink it all the time

Is the show 24 any good or is it a total hunk of junk

@Crispin_Throw Just wanted you to know you were in fashion. I see no foul!

@TheDrewDee One time my shirt was super wrinkled and you walked up to me and you said “nice… wrinkled is in right now” and walked away

Thing about me is that IF I’m getting you a Christmas gift it WILL be late

I can’t do a lot. But I CAN say “Wandisimo!” in an excited tone and sound JUST like Wanda from Fairly Odd Parents

Just sprinted to my phone because I forgot to check if Tyler was wearing sunscreen before he left the house this morning. I’m shaking right now. Just broke my television (fear that expressed itself as anger). Anyone heard from him?

@JeffDubrofKCCI Jeff you are a treasure

Girlfriend wanted fried chicken, collard greens and mac n cheese. The deed is done!

They call me church cause I’m hymn

It’s all about applying sun tan lotion

I don’t give a CRAP about podcasting

Bloated! What’s it to ya!

Strictly Dave and/or Cench rn

Have* see, it’s ok to make mistakes when you’re in the mood I’m in (one that encourages having a laugh in a non-serious manner)

In the mood to goof around and half a laugh in a non-serious manner