Jason Offutt. I write, and stuff.

I know we're not supposed to look at Goodreads, but...

@ronsterd89 They would want Carl. They need James.

@HawkEmDownChris @GroovyBruce

Who’s your favorite actor of all time? 🎬 A) Denzel Washington B) Leonardo DiCaprio C) Al Pacino D) Robert De Niro E) Samuel L. Jackson F) Tom Hanks G) Morgan Freeman H) Will Smith I) Brad Pitt J) Johnny Depp K) Comment other actor ✍️

I had a pimple on my nose this morning. A pimple. Oh, sure, it's almost prom season, but I haven't had to worry about pimples at the prom since 1984. Note to pores, it's about time you grew up.

@stephenRB4 It's delicious and filling, like drinking a loaf of bread.

Do you like the taste of Guinness?

I hope the movie's better than the book. I found the book middling. Of course, it's by the guy who wrote "The Martian," which was terrific. yahoo.com/entertainment/…

@ronsterd89 Anger and racism.

@CroonerFriday @ronsterd89 Hedley Lamar?

@ronsterd89 Hedy Lamarr.

@ronsterd89 Who was hottest is subjective, but I think Barbara Eden would have to be high on a lot of lists.

@ThexyBeatht_2 I've been doing that more and more. Instead of hearing from me, "not at the moment," persistent people I don't want to deal with now hear from me, "would you please kindly go fuck yourself."

Happy Monday friends! Today is a great day to track your protein, drink more water and tell people to fuck all the way off

@oelma__ Undertaker.

Anyone..

@RickyDoggin Tom Cruise.

I'll Start: Tom Hanks

@oliviacola Mine are allergies. Not that it matters, I felt sick all week anyway.

We’re going from seasonal depression to am I sick or is it just seasonal allergies?

@td_nash Marcus Allen.

Who’s your favorite number 32?🧐

@_iamlougotti "KaleidoSUPERscope" performed by the Los Angeles Super Drill Team and the Los Angeles Unified School District All City Marching Band.

Who performed at the Super Bowl the year you graduated High School? Me it’s Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band

@oelma__ Play with my boobs. If any guy says otherwise, they're lying.

FIRST thing..

@_iamlougotti It's spelled "doughnuts," so all of those suck but Voodoo.

Who has the best donuts??

@stephenRB4 Right. Gandalf the White was a tad uppity.

If you don’t love Gandalf the Grey then we can’t be friends.

@Ruby__8090 Be honest? All of the above.

Which one is more beautiful.? Be honest.

@vxylily The cemetery.

He doesn’t smoke He doesn’t drink He doesn’t Womanise He doesn’t party He stays at home He doesn’t bet Where can I find him??

@deidrejowen You have no idea how much I think about that.

Keep thinking about how they tried to soft launch aliens and no one cared.