The Gaming FireFighter

@fesshole Oh craptain my craptain.

Taught at a really tough inner city school in London a few years ago. The amount of old students that I've seen in the news for all sorts of crimes is staggering, I'm starting to blame myself a bit.

@fesshole The lyrics that didn’t make it into ‘The Kinks-Lola’ were really shit.

The dog looked at my dinner with those eyes and I looked at hers. We swapped and we were both happy.

@anon_opin Worse than all those? HGV’s on the motorway. Absolute cunts.

I'm a HGV driver and it's taken years of observation but I've figured out who the worst drivers are; everyone doing the school run. Age, gender, car make/model etc don't matter, they're all pricks. Also white van drivers and Tesla drivers are utter wankers.

@anon_opin I think you’re underestimating how fuckin stupid most football players are.

Much is made of football managers but 99% of winning comes down to who has the best players.

@TheRealDRien @interesting_aIl Done this for 36 years on all my winter windscreens. It’s not rocket science. Never once had a screen break. So 4. It’s fine as long as it’s not hot water. Been driving longer than you’ve been alive probably.

@interesting_aIl 1-That's not ice, that's light snow 2-Water is not that hot as we don't see any evaporation and the guy is holding it with a light plastic bottle. 3-Doesn't look like -20 temerature to me. 4 Trust me, don't try this at home ;-)

How to properly clean a frozen windshield

@GoodwinMJ You said it was a shithole you utter melt.

To the people of Gorton & Denton My promise is this: I will fight for you I will work for you I will speak up for you I will never ignore you like Labour Vote Reform, Get Starmer Out, put Gorton & Denton first

@Keir_Starmer you’re weak as piss and by getting your lap dogs to block @AndyBurnhamGM from contesting a seat has made you look even weaker. Embarrassing Trump boot licking jellyfish.

@Keir_Starmer Fuck off. Absolute melt. Scared of Andy Burnham is all we need to know.

To those in Scotland, and around the world, celebrating over a Burns Supper, I wish you a very Happy Burns Night.

@ChatGPTapp just insisted to me that I didn’t have a DJI Mini 5 Pro as there was no such drone. When I showed it a picture it said I’d bought a fake drone. Eventually after insisting I was wrong three times I made it check DJI. AI isn’t that great.

@_sorrengailll I did.

Stranger Things has me wondering.. in the 80s did most kids have this freedom to just run around at all hours of the day and night?

@PicturesFoIder The average American wouldn’t be able to use this. Ok for us Europeans though.

I'm impressed, but also very skeptical... 🫤

@fesshole You sound like a cunt. If they’re young enough to believe that elf on a shelf will bite them they’re not little shit bags they’re very young.

Thanks to them being shitbags and me being frustrated with them, my stepchildren are now convinced that Elf on the Shelf has the propensity to bite them. It hasn't yet, but could any day now. They fear the little plastic monstrosity.

@anon_opin Ah Reform voter.

I wish people who mostly share my values wouldn't make such shit arguments.

@fesshole In the last few years I’ve started to really enjoy looking at flowers. Now that’s old.

I just realized I'm old. I like making soup and watching birds outside. I'm a 43-year-old man.

@fesshole Take longer at the pump if they’re queueing?

I do everything in my lawful power to annoy Tesla owners because like many I don't like Elon Musk. Refuse to give way, park close to their car, drive slower than the speed limit if they're behind me, take longer at the pump if they're queuing, etc. Petty, but I don't care.

@GrahamTaylorUK @fesshole Always get told what number left which review.

@fesshole Reviews left after a delivery are anonymous, so the person who left them can’t be identified. This is standard practice for companies that want feedback on their workers, including Royal Mail and other parcel delivery companies. No postie can identify individual reviews.

Postie here; if you leave a negative review after I've gone out my way to find somewhere safe to leave your parcel, you will get a red card through your door every time, even through its more of a pain and takes a lot longer to fill out the card.

@fesshole Someone left me a 0/10 for leaving with a neighbour. If they’re not in their parcel is going back to the depot from now on as there’s no safe place.

Appeared in a TV advert as a young child. What went out was deeply embarrassing and I got bullied for years as a result. It recently resurfaced on YouTube. A couple of people have said I look like the kid in the ad. I have flat denied it's me.

@anon_opin I’ve not forgotten. Nor will I ever.

It's only been five years, but it's amazing how quickly we've forgotten that the people who really affect ours lives positively are medics, farmers, shop workers, etc, and not entrepreneurs, billionaires, etc

@anon_opin I did this year.

All my life we used to get loads of insects flying into the windscreen. It was A Thing. People mentioned it in songs and everything. Not that long ago either. Not any more though, eh?