just(tif) for all ⚖️

#CancelHulu ✅

Carded while buying beer en route to getting my face lasered, so I guess the skincare is working ✨

@ASFleischman It must be nice to have one of those prosecutors who exercise some discretion.

In many jurisdictions, it is easily possible to charge very minor batteries against police officers as felonies. But prosecutors usually exercise some discretion, because jurors are not robots.

My sweet baby Sam (black) passed peacefully on Saturday, at home in this chair where we loved to snuggle. If there are any real people left on this app, this update is for the few that saw his 2-year chemo journey. He was my heart dog, and I am a little less whole without him. 🖤

Lady lawyers - I need new clothes. I feel my best in a v-neck sheath dress, preferably machine washable with pockets. Alternatively, classic suits (nothing trendy). I'm really working to find ethical/sustainable/small business sources for all my essentials. Suggestions?

Think good thoughts for my brave boy today

The things my husband does to me on road trips

If you see me in my front yard talking to a bale of straw --

@laurenashastro Does two evils and a normal count?

i think three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. you need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer

I just pop over here occasionally to balance out the censorship on @tiktok_us. My saying "Dwight you ignorant slut" was removed for violating guidelines, but someone commenting "good" on a video about a plane crash where hundreds of people died was not.

Hey @TheIMRF how is my annual salary a *security* question when gov't employee salaries are public record?

@gayguycandleco And eating some Doritos, she earned them

I hope Kamala Harris has a giant glass of wine in one hand and her phone in the other right now.

💫 Twinkle twinkle little star, remind them who the fuck you are 💪🏼

My sunscreen collection, minus what's in my purse, at my desk, in my car, and SPF lip balms 🫣

Given to me by a client who needs it more than I do but has a sense of humor about it

All that to say, be kind to the crazy lady.

When I drop Sam off at chemo, my routine is to walk through my favorite garden, then go to my favorite BBQ place, where I have a beer on the patio by myself at 11am and despair over the unfairness of a dog's lifespan (and cry). Aware of how insane I look, I tip generously.

Malign for advantage. Always.

@ellewilson He's a gorgeous king, may he reign forever

Our Victor Hugo is 13 years old today.