Toddasaurus Rex

@runesword1 But, chief, is not your cycle of violence a pattern in and of itself? I explained this to Lt. Gnomedrowner and he threatened to drown me.

i fucking hate patterns, i keep seeing them, i want to kill patterns

>what no pussy does to a mfer Man you think I have a choice? Dating apps are a humiliation ritual.

@runesword1 Wasting rations, milord.

the party rejoices after slaying the owlbear in her den until i begin violently smashing up all her eggs with way too much enthusiasm, launching them and kicking them as hard as i can into the cave walls as i cheer and it really puts a huge damper on the victory for everyone else

@runesword1 Stop sparing the gnomes sire, may our gardens have peace in our lifetimes.

every time i spare a gnome’s life the obsidian shard in my chest creeps an inch closer to my heart

@shirobruin @volkdeer I had a 6th grade math teacher fuck my head up to the point I couldn't sit through a math class after without having an anxiety attack or mental meltdown. I had a free ride through college and I had to drop out, with that being one of the major reasons.

@volkdeer They joke about this, but teachers don’t get anywhere enough flak for how they can easily create massive lifelong issues for people over the most trivial of things. I saw kids become entirely different people (not for the better) just because a teacher had a bad day.

I got suspended for drawing soldiers and knights in third grade, PTA meeting, held in a separate room for a day, whole nine yards. I didn't draw again until my last year of middle school out of fear of arbitrary unknown rules I could break unconsciously, and be told I was evil

@Dearme2_ Cost-benefit-risk analysis. Why expend all the effort and waste my time and money just to add another layer of bullshit I have to deal with in my life?

why do high-IQ men seem to struggle with dating?

Would have been alot funnier if Artemis hit a starlink on the way out. First orbital traffic offense.

@SigBurger Greetings!

海外に住むフレンド達へ 私は日本に住む銃愛好家です。 これらはすべてエアソフトガンですが、私のコレクションを自慢させていただきます！ お気に入りtop3は: 1. colt 1911 2. Sig MCX 3. AR-15 皆さんのコレクションもぜひ教えてください！

@May_Roma This is the funniest thing I've read all day. 🤣

日本ではKFCは高級品です。そして年寄りはKFCが大好きです。食べたらアメリカ人になれるからです。私の母はアメリカの背が高いイケメンが大好きです。不細工はダメです。アメリカのイケメンを見るために米軍基地に行きます。たまに不細工がいます。イケメンを見るためにKFCを一生懸命食べます。去年KFCが喉に詰まりました。弟が掃除機で吸い出しました。ボケババアふざけんなと喧嘩になりました。弟は車の車検代を母に払わせました。彼はガルパンを見るのが多忙です。KFCはとても良いものです。

@Mtravenecho1 Now, roll for initiative!

一夜にして500人のD&D大好きなアメリカのお友達が増えてしまった。ありがとう、ありがとう。

@morris_cha21576 What is a landmine girl?

@yamanakanobody The ability to make saves and load states on a whim like a videogame.

超能力を手に入れる事が出来るならどんな超能力が欲しい？

@alfkkifine Someone should send this to my ex.

The internet constantly tells women that men are terrible listeners because the second a woman starts venting about her day, the man immediately interrupts to offer a logical solution. We are taught to view this as him being dismissive, emotionally unintelligent, or invalidating our feelings. ​The strict, unpopular truth is that to a man, fixing the problem is his absolute highest, most desperate form of empathy. ​Women vent to connect; we want our partner to just sit in the dark with us and validate the emotion. But men are hardwired to view the woman they love being in distress as an active threat. When he immediately offers a spreadsheet, a strategy, or a solution to your problem, he isn't trying to silence you. His brain has recognized that something in the world is hurting his partner, and his immediate, visceral instinct is to assassinate the thing causing you pain. We constantly shame men for "not just listening," completely ignoring the fact that his attempt to fix your life is his most profound declaration of love.

@Badgerhound1 Now this is a spell I can get behind!

@togootto Sounds like your average communist in america too. Deviants.

日本のヤバい共産党員の話をする 普段「性犯罪を許さない」と主張しながら女装して女子トイレに侵入、女子高生を盗撮して逮捕。 おまけに女子大生の自転車のかごに「君のレイプ計画を立てているから楽しみにしてて」と書いた手紙を入れ、サドルに体液をぶっかけて再び逮捕された。 みんなどう思う？

@aki_bel 🤣

日本の冗談 電車に乗っていたら、隣の女子高生２人が話をしていた。 「宝くじ、一等当たると７億円貰えるんだって！」 「えー、７億円？すごーい！」 「７億円を１円玉にしたら何枚かなぁ！」 「うーん、多すぎてわかんなーい！！」 こんな感じですかわかりません。

@yamanakanobody Aesthetics in both architecture and harmony with nature. Your media is generally not overtly injected with aggravating political allegory. Your men understand duty and respect. Also Mecha. 😁

俺アメリカ人が日本の事好きなイメージが無かったんだよ。 何なら少し馬鹿にしてると思ってた。 でも全然違った。変な日本人より日本が好きだった。 ひとつ気になってるんだが、どうして日本が好きなの？

@modo1979 @yoyonofukuoka You admire our strength and size, we admire your culture and beauty.

@yoyonofukuoka 台湾人の僕から見ると、今のXは『親戚の集まりに、なぜか陽気なアメリカ人が混ざってお祭り騒ぎしてる』みたいなカオスな楽しさがあります😂 でも、褒められすぎてちょっと照れてる日本の皆さんも可愛くて好きですよ。このままXが世界平和の拠点になりそうですね！ 🇹🇼🇯🇵🇺🇸🥰

今のXは、大勢のアメリカ人が突然家に入ってきて、「お前の家にある物、どれもマジでクールだ」って急に褒められてるみたいな感覚。

@hoshizorarock I cannot, friend. I am getting ready for work. Please pour another one for me. 😭

アメリカ人の皆様 早く私にお肉を持ってきてください