Tom Barkan-Benkler

For highly ambitious, talented, entrepreneurial product people in their 30s: it is counterproductive to create your inner professional identity around things like “I create awesome OKRs” or “I send great status updates” or “I respond quickly on Slack” or “I know the Kano model (and all my peers don’t)” or “I talk to 5 customers/week”, etc. etc. All of these are mere proxies. They are not the main thing. Often they are very poor proxies. If you must create an identity, consider making it about building winning products & successful businesses. That is the main, non-negotiable thing. This is a powerful reframing because, once you internalize it, you will see that most of the activities, qualities, and labels incentivized by large groups do little to secure success for your product & your company. Of course, you will still have to do some of these nonsense, low leverage activities. But you will stop getting the dopamine rush you get today with these activities. And that is a great first step that many product people never take. After you take this first step, you will begin to get more excited & energized by activities that actually determine your product’s success. These activities are not always glamorous & cool. And most of the time, your peers will be confused about why you aren’t doing the things everyone else is doing. Some jealous & cutthroat peers might even complain vocally. But you won’t care because you know exactly what game you’re playing, and why. You are playing to win, while everyone else is busy chasing their next dopamine hit to just get through their workday.