Tom Hayward

🚨 IMPORTANT REMINDER 🎗️ 🟨 If you see a referee wearing a yellow armband, this indicates they are an Under-18 match official. 🫡 They are therefore covered by safeguarding children legislation and just like the youth players on the pitch they are still learning and developing within the game and deserve our full support, encouragement and respect! 🙌 Help us to create a safe and positive environment on the football pitches across Sussex so these young referees stay passionate and dedicated to the game for years to come… #SussexFootball⚽

@fesshole LMP is this you?

I want my husband to cheat, so I can finally admit that I cheated on him years ago. It's been weighing on my mind for years, but he's loyal unlike my cheating arse.

@fesshole LMP is this you?

Recently ended an affair with a married man. I told him I'd deleted all the emails and pictures and I have, mostly. Except the really incriminating ones. Always good to have a bit of collateral

This headline should be studied in every journalism school 👇

@Josh_Measor_1 ££££

How do county league games get called off but the football league end up on 🤣🤣

@fesshole LMP is this you?

Hubby enjoys being dressed in lingerie and having toys up his bottom. We have a camera in the bedroom for recording such antics. Recently been having some plumbing work done, camera caught one of the plumbers sniffing the toys and lingerie he clearly thought were mine.

@fesshole LMP this is you

Lockdown: planned to leave my husband - came to hate being cooped up together. When cafes reopened, went for a drink but loos were shut. Bladder couldn't cope with the drive home - I wet myself. He ran me a bath, put washing on and scrubbed the car seat. Realised he's a keeper.

@fesshole LMP is this you?

Agreed to a threesome with my wife. Mid spit-roast, I decided I wasn't into it as she was enjoying the blow job a bit too much, so thrust harder to make it harder for her. Of course, I soon finished, so had to sit in the corner watching her nosh off for another ten minutes. Grim.

@fesshole LMP is this you?

It's dawned on me that my wife is cheating on me. What has surprised me is how little it bothers me. We get on better and our sex life has improved no end. She does things now she said she would never do previously. Thanks Jack owe you one

@fesshole LMP is this you?

Suggested to my wife we open up the marriage. She was keen and we agreed to start off with some dates. She arranged a date fairly quickly so I told her I also had a date the same night. I just sat in the pub with my book while she went on her date. It was perfect

Many coaches watch the game like a fan. But your job isn’t to follow the ball. It’s to compare what you see to what you wanted to see. 🧵⚽️

Days like today. Full respect and spare a thought for all the volunteer groundsmen 👏 Don’t take them for granted

@fesshole LMP Is this you?

Me & my husband are separating but we live in the same house still. I have noticed a disgusting long curly white hair growing out of his neck. I deliberately haven't told him - my way of sabotaging his future love prospects, quiet revenge for all the hurt he has caused me.

My prayers go out to the Palestinian people. Children who lost their parents, parents who lost their babies, and families obliterated by Israel over two years of genocide, while heartless, inhumane individuals justified their murder. More than 100,000 innocent souls killed.

Do you remember me? How we used to be? Do you think we should be closer? #PinkFloyd #YourPossiblePasts

@fesshole LMP is this you?

Husband friend came to stay while he went through a breakup. Didn't like him until he made me the nicest Spaghetti Carbonara I have ever tasted. Been having an affair since. It's been 3 years.

@fesshole LMP is this you?

Husband kept mentioning a threesome. Finally I agreed and had a woman in mind from a class at my gym. I started chatting and flirting with her to find the right time to ask. So far we've been on 5 dates and had a couple sleep overs. I'm yet to mention my husband or the threesome.

@fesshole LMP is this you?

Separated from ex, still living in same house, he insists on using my en-suite to clean his teeth every night. The satisfaction I get from pissing on his toothbrush every night is immense.

@fesshole LMP is this you?

I always pee in the shower. It's convenient and saves time. Except I've done it for so long that now I connect being in the shower with needing to pee. So every time I'm staying with my boyfriend and we shower together, I'm just thinking "don't pee, don't pee, don't pee".

Watched a cancer charity advert from cancer research. Apparently 1 in every two of us will get cancer in our lifetime - so 50% of us.. This is despite all the millions and millions and millions we have thrown into "cancer research", its actually higher and worse than ever. I then looked at the cancer rates in Ghana 58 deaths from cancer per 100,000 is equivalent to just 0.058%. So what are we doing so very wrong ? Id suggest clearly trusting big pharma. Because it very much seems like the clue is in the name "Cancer research" and clearly they are very much researching cancer. I would suggest that the numbers would support that suspicion very strongly.