Thomas

@sinovuyo001 2004 till now

Who can honestly say they've had the same phone number for the last five years??

@nekekings1 @PATRIOT2117 Kingsley, you well so?

@PATRIOT2117 This would have been a better ending 😂😂

After getting Pope Francis's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. “Excuse me, Your Holiness,” says the driver, “Would you please take your seat so we can leave?” “Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today.” "I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?!” protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning. “Who's going to tell?” says the Pope with a smile. Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 km. "Please slow down, Your Holiness," pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!” moans the driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. “I need to talk to the Chief,” he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph. “So bust him,” says the Chief. “I don't think we want to do that. He's really important,” said the cop. The Chief exclaimed, “All the more reason!” “No, I mean really important,”said the cop with a bit of persistence. The Chief then asked, “Who do you have there, the mayor?” Cop: “Bigger.” Chief: “A senator?” Cop: “Bigger.” Chief: “The President?” Cop: “Bigger.” “Well,” said the Chief, “who is it?” Cop: “I think it's God!” The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, “What makes you think it's God?” Cop: “His chauffeur is the Pope!”

@stillda3m @instablog9ja Na so dangote dey flashy for your eye?

@instablog9ja Depend on the country. If na Yankee, 2 But for this Naija, na all of the above

Spot the billionaire 👀💰 Four hands on the table… but only one might belong to a billionaire. Which one are you picking — 1, 2, 3 or 4? 🤔👇

@sanakazmi36 The WOMEN!!!!!

What do men actually deal with?

@arojinle1 Cold water bothers my teeth.

Drink cold water whenever you want. Cold water does not do any damage to your health in any way. All those articles you see people write about cold water destroying your body are made up. None is backed up by scientific research or evidence

@TeeClassy29 Welcome !

At this rate I’m scared of Claude AI 💔💔 This is scary.

@jerome_chikere It's your face that's unlocking the device. You both look identical.

This is a great opportunity to share my store. My younger brother died on June 2022, I had to rushed back home from Abuja to anambra that same day because I was still in shock about the news before got there , he was already in the mortuary. My sister gave me her phone and some

@Fin_Disu So, what should they do? Not board it?

Dear taxpayers of Lagos state. Boarding an overloaded bus fabricated in a mechanic hub with welded wooded seats and no air conditioning for work everyday is not normal. Mass transit is the responsibility of the state.

@Soaringeagle45 @Prolific_Q 🤣🤣🤣

A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday. “I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs.” I said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.” The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!” Reaching into his back pocket, the officer pulled out his badge and shoved it in my face. “See this freaking badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish… on ANY land! No questions asked or answers given! Do I make myself clear? Do you understand?” I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull! With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer and it seemed likely that he’d get gored before reaching safety. The officer was clearly terrified. So, I threw down my tools, ran to the fence, and shouted at the top of my lungs. “Your badge, show him your freaking BADGE!!!”

@Min_Dr_Radak @AItsox @MFaarees_ He has mentioned his own. Mention yours too. This is away from the fact that you have taken the reply out of context. The poster said converts from Islam can't recite upto 5 surahs. He gave names of top scholars. You aren't as bright as you think.

@AItsox @MFaarees_ Am surprised that you can count your top people who embraced Christianity - the list is uncountable of Ex Christian Scholars

When a Christian studies Christianity and understands it clearly, he converts to Islam, but almost every Muslim who converts to Christianity can't recite good 5 Surahs from the Quran, let alone the Hadith, that's the difference!

@tessysmitha @BayuzTv Una dey Google reply? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@BayuzTv Jokes on you cus I already planned to cry on the internet today 😭😭🫵🫵

Beyond my comprehension God😭 Best video ever #bayuztv

@Nigerian_Doctor Go for the 400k job. Work and save. If you do good work for your employer, you can request for direct posting to their establishment and might do your compulsory NYSC there still.

@fwdaniels Who wrote these rules?

never sleep with a married woman never sleep with your coworkers never sleep with your friend's ex never sleep with a single mum. never sleep with your brother's girlfriend never sleep with a woman older than you. never sleep with a woman you don't trust.

@DGNaija @ShehuSani Brilliant ant very true!

Dear Senator, you are either ignorant of the facts or deliberately ignoring reality, as is typical of many Nigerian politicians. Foreigners coming to Nigeria aren’t here because Nigeria is suddenly a paradise. They’re here because Nigeria is a high-risk, high-return environment with weak regulation, cheap labour, and a massive population. Most Chinese, Indians, and Lebanese who come here don’t start from scratch like the average Nigerian. They come with capital, family business networks, access to foreign credit, and supply chains already in place. That alone changes the game. They also operate in spaces where rules are loose. Weak enforcement, tax loopholes, and flexible standards make it easier to do business. Meanwhile, a Nigerian running the same business deals with multiple taxes, endless harassment from agencies, and zero access to affordable loans. There’s also the currency angle. When your capital is in dollars, yuan, or rupees and you’re earning in naira, you already have a head start. Nigerians earn and spend in naira, not the same race. And let’s be honest: many of these businesses don’t “build Nigeria.” Profits are sent back home, goods are imported, and locals get low-paying jobs. That’s not faith in Nigeria; that’s opportunity in dysfunction. Nigerians aren’t leaving because they can’t see opportunity. They’re leaving because of insecurity, unstable policies, poor infrastructure, and a system that punishes hard work and rewards connections. So no, foreigners aren’t seeing something Nigerians are blind to. They’re seeing profit where systems are weak. Nigerians leaving are just choosing systems that actually work. If Nigeria worked for its citizens the way it works for foreign capital and connected elites, “japa” wouldn’t even be a topic.

You chase for greener pastures in Europe,Canada and America but The Chinese,Indians and Lebanese are chasing for greener pastures in your country.What are they seeing that you are not seeing? What are you seeing that they are not seeing?..How do they become richer and realise their dreams in your very country that you think is inhospitable and poor?

This thing is very very personal for me, my grandma got killed inside her own church. Seeing people claim there is no religious genocide is like opening up healed wound for me. I don't care if we are mutuals, I'll rain heavy insults on you if you move weird in my mention.

@TheoAbuAgada Bro! You just woke up and typed. You no reason am at all. But then, are you for real man? How many people knew Ned before Regina came along? Yet somehow, you believe Ned is the last old man interested in a young girl.

Regina is fucxxxked for life. She can’t leave that man. The lifestyle that man introduced her to, cannot be maintained by Asaba movies. It’s she and Ned together, under the weather, near Gbagada.

"Rebirth" is a poignant artwork that captures the essence of a transformative journey, featuring a figure gazing into space with a burning candle atop her head. The scene evokes a sense of longing as the figure contemplates the possibilities and challenges of forging a new path

@zazarat 😂😂😂😂

Put a big container of afang in my neighbours fridge last week cos my fridge isn't cooling well Fast forward to yesterday when I asked for soup, and they are telling me the person that cleans for them ate it 🫠 Must be crack

Guys, come get Finger Monsterrs t-shirts So I can chop life this weekend 👀

@zazarat How much?