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Teachers said I was dyslexic when I would say “Girls rule and boys drool” but I was actually just #woke af.
Brooklyn, NY 🇺🇸 English
Blane Malcomson
561 posts
Blane Malcomson
@TrailBlaneing
nerf or nothing
Brooklyn, NY Katılım Aralık 2014
422 Takip Edilen263 Takipçiler
Blane Malcomson retweetledi
I’m sick of seeing yankees hats that are red and green and maroon. It’s stolen valor.
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How long would it have taken to repair i-95 if it was a bunch of James Hardens? @BarstoolPhilly
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Just shit my pants while drinking coffee and paying overdue bills on the phone… feeling grown up today.
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Next mission impossible movie should just be a dude showing his girlfriend Top Gun for the first time without quoting any lines.
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Blane Malcomson retweetledi
I know that’s not the point of them but when someone has a private Instagram profile I should be able to see what’s going on in there anyway
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Blane Malcomson retweetledi
Hood rich: clickin that third tip button with no hesitation
Real rich: not tipping and calling the cops on your delivery guy
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Blane Malcomson retweetledi
thinking about how funny it would be if taylor swift looked down at the scale and it said “chinese”
Shira Rose@theshirarose
Taylor Swift’s music video, where she looks down at the scale where it says “fat,” is a shitty way to describe her body image struggles. Fat people don’t need to have it reiterated yet again that it’s everyone’s worst nightmare to look like us.
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Just got solicited by a religious fanatic who handed me a pamphlet asking “Who controls the world? God?” And when I started talking about the corporations, HE walked away.
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Blane Malcomson retweetledi
watching a running group debrief their run at a bar like “yeah dude that part where you ran was fuckin tight”
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Blane Malcomson retweetledi
yeah im down for a two party system, the party and the after party
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Watching Sam Raimi’s Spiderman 2 like “damn this movie rocks…” then it ends, credits start to roll and Dashboard Confessional starts playing!?!?
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Blane Malcomson retweetledi
boobs but instead of milk one is ketchup and one is mustard
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COMING HERE WAY MORE NOW. RESPECT 🤝. @MTUnitedNJ
Formerly Unionized Performers NJ@MTUnitedNJ
We are the actors, stunt performers, and stable hands of Medieval Times in Lyndhurst, New Jersey joining together in union to create a fairer, safer, and more enjoyable workplace. With a supermajority of support, we are excited to be forming our union with the AGVA.
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Blane Malcomson retweetledi
“We must invent Kevlar uteri.”
Brian Tyler Cohen@briantylercohen
Sarah Huckabee Sanders after her gubernatorial primary win: "We will make sure that when a kid is in the womb, they're as safe as they are in a classroom." Um.
California, USA 🇺🇸 English
“I like to think of myself as an oil man.” - me talking about the gas prices.
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