Kyle Anderson 🐘

"Underage girls testing positive for pregnancy at detention centers." Let me fix that for you. "Children being raped at detention centers." There you go.

Why are the standards higher for The Bachelorette than the President of the United States?

“He raped me.” “Donald J Trump had raped her along with Jeffrey Epstein.” “She was found with her head ‘blown off’… there was no way it was a suicide.” …directly from the Epstein files.

@Snow_Blacck Another satisfying bonk. youtu.be/hPFizzf4oG0?si…

My problem is the fact that THIS has me at my desk in TEARS. This is my kind of humor 😭😩😂😂😭

This absolutely rules. Great trend. Keep it going!!

Modders swapped Leon into Grace’s body and it looks funny af 💀

@Verdrehen1 Proper stretching exercises most likely.

@EstieMaddie how come he has such good body control and yet is so overweight?

😳 MY BRAIN CAN’T EVEN COMPREHEND BEING THIS TALENTED.

@bob_noss $25 million for Julia Roberts.

@jonathanmb32 Mona Lisa Smile...cost $72 million?

Looking through her filmography, this is basically the only time she’s worked on a big budget movie outside of the Spider-Mans since she became an adult; after those three the biggest-budget movie she worked on since 2000 (per Wikipedia) was Mona Lisa Smile at $72 million.

They have one in Charlotte and one of the staff members roasted me for like fifteen minutes because I was wearing a Ben Roethlisberger and I just had to stand there and take it. 5 stars 100% tip.

“Why’s he wearing a helm….ohhhh i see”

The biggest game of the first round is on Friday, when Long Island battles Arizona for iced tea supremacy

Remember in the movie Robocop when corporate America aids criminals and helps incite riots so they can lower property values and then buy up the city while privatizing the city's police force? Haha science fiction is crazy

We should cancel April fools this year. There is no prank topping our reality.

The T in T-Virus stands for Thriller

Day 1: it's going to take a couple of days Day 20: ok we need 200 billion dollars

High Point’s Chase Johnston, who shoots nearly 50% from 3, just made his first two-pointer of the season to beat Wisconsin

"Jesus, Paul, look at this receipt—ten dollars for a single potato. This new Value-Mart AI surge pricing is killing me, man. Killing me." “That’s nothing, Bill. Wait ’til the next update: the store will be able to see exactly how much money you have in your bank.” “You’re kidding.” “And your 401k.” “@#$% me sideways.” “That’s why I use URCHN to do my groceries.” “Really? What’s URCHN?” “URCHN is the latest in affordable concierge shopping.” “Oh, you mean like Uber or Instacart. What makes them different?” “Orphans.” “𝑂𝑟𝑝ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑠?” “That’s right, Bill. And not just any orphans. Dirty, starving orphans who live under overpasses.” “Uuuh.” “As you know, the cameras in the grocery aisle scan your face and adjust the price based on race, socioeconomic status, and dietary restrictions. But you know who always gets the best prices, no matter what?” “…orphans?” “Yep.” “I don’t know, Paul, that seems a little-” “Of course, the AI still discriminates based on race, which is why they send a multi-racial team of no less than four dirty orphans to buy your groceries.” "Um." “The Latino child buys your rice, and the Asian child buys your tortillas.” “Yeah, no, I get it.” “And the black child-” “Sorry, uh, these are children, right? Small children?” “Of course. Teens would raise the price.” “How do they, uh, reach the items on the top shelves?” “They stand on each other’s emaciated little shoulders.” "Jesus." "Yeah, the Hispanic orphan tends to be on the bottom." "What?" "Sturdy stock." “…and how much do you save?” “My last potato was 34 cents.” “#$&@ it, I’m in.” --- [r][title: AI Surge Pricing]