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Jupiter brought his spear to the cafe this time. "What's that for?" I asked. "The tip!" he laughed. "You're killing me." "Sorry about that."

I always have coffee with Jupiter the morning after Easter to show they're no hard feelings.

I'm beat after all those services today, but I can't sleep with all the Judaizers arguing whether chocolate bunnies are kosher. FML

@GentCyclist @chrisbaskind That's actually not a bad likeness, gents. Of course we mostly went with the screw-top goatskins.

@RevBeccaStevens Well, it only seemed fair.

It's true that I've risen, but I haven't had coffee yet. Mind keeping things down to a dull roar for a bit? Thanks. #EasterRising #Easter

Somebody blocked me. Don't bother calling during football season.

I'm not going to endorse a candidate, but if @realDonaldTrump wins, I'm gonna have a lot of trouble getting through airport security.

It's not like any of us encouraged you, Marco. Just saying. twitter.com/nycjim/status/…

Someone is trying to get in on my Second Coming action. twitter.com/nytimes/status…

@sinden Thank you for picking up your church organ and following me. That looks heavy.

@realDonaldTrump @BrazielCarol @FoxNews Both of the Corinthians disagree.

If I find who put the Trump 2016 yard sign in front of the Pearly Gates, there will be hell to pay. I'm talking to you, St. Paul.

Oh, great. There's a US primary tomorrow. If I weren't so obviously immortal, I'd call in sick.

Well, crap. I just lost the office pool on the Michigan race.

@NathanHamm @kurtcwiesner And beer before wine, not wine before beer.

@PB_Curry You look a lot like Dad. But I bet you know that.

@mjordtsheets Your sins are forgiven. We were in front of the TV, too.

@KovacsJk Ouch! That cape makes me look fat.

@SLCPatriot @Kaitlynnnn_Ann I feel so loved. Bless you, my son.