💉SwiftieNurse🫶🏼

It’s a special moment when a patient that frequented the ER you used to work at recognizes you on the street and tells you to go fuck yourself. It’s nice to be remembered.

You heard it here first. Tops, WYA?

@thepointsguy ATL, but only for the skyclub pub crawl

What is the best airport for a long layover?

@ToonHive No. It didn’t. It was just a few years ago. Im barely an adult. 🫣🫣🫣

‘Barney & Friends’ premiered 34 years ago today on PBS.

Bro just shut the fuck up and take my money, you don’t have to gloat

WHY am I day drunk in NEW JERSEY?!??

Lmao. The US is on the verge of collapse, and the department of education is asking for my student loan payment?!? Get the fuck out my inbox.

Every pair of sunglasses that I spent my ripe American dollars on, I’ve lost. The singular pair I found at a bar 10 years ago, still in my clutches

Physically? Yes Mentally? Also, yes Financially? Nope

@LinkofSunshine This, but the weekend Q has entered the chat

The MTA:

@PopBase Grey-Sloan Hospital has got to go.

‘Grey’s Anatomy’ has been renewed for Season 23.

The flooring in my apartment is >100 years old, but I am the FIRST person in history to roll around on it, re-enacting The Smallest Man Whoever Lived. #TSTheErasTour #TTPD #TaylorSwift #Swiftie #ErasTour

I wish millennial grey would release its clutches on me.

@jesse_vermeulen Yes. I’m mentally unstable. What about it?

rocking a caseless phone says A LOT about a person iykyk

@eslnxpu *cries haglessly*

By your 30’s there’s a big drop off in the women that keep up with their little gay boys. But the ones that do are so powerful and insane.

@heyshipz Butt. Crabs. Chipotle…. Uhh. Maybe I’ll skip April

the first 3 words you see will define your APRIL 😭

@barely_th3re Taking a patient out of Grady onto the Grady curve 😆

imagine some doctor at Piedmont Hospital taking a patient on Peachtree St to improve their mood 💀

@JoroJrn Anyone in an Amazon outfit. mostly because I forget that I ordered stuff. But that’s IT.

Who is allowed to show up to your house unannounced?

Soooo idk what this says about my mental health, but like, I am DEFINITELY my type. And I am super bummed that I couldn’t date anyone as good as me…

Lmao. The Manuscript at 730 in the morning? I’m not even going to try to be happy today. #TaylorSwift #TTPD

Oh this is so fucking debut coded. Yee, and I cannot stress this enough, haw. #TaylorSwift #iHeartAwards #DebutTV