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I will not do some fireworks, btw, but nevertheless, this silly debate could make me physically sick, so I think it is time for a little political uncorrect provocation. Just a guilty pleasure, I admit.
Caution: The following might be disturbing.
Friends, Followers, X Users, lend me your ears!
I come not as an orator, nor as a preacher, but as a plain and blunt man.
And yet, for many years I have stood among the more than eighty percent of this land who light no private fireworks at all - for the polls tell us that scarcely sixteen percent intend to buy crackers or rockets.
And still: the oftener I read your earnest little homilies, the more tempting the idea becomes:
tomorrow morning, I shall buy them.
Not for tradition’s sake, but out of a perverse but perfectly human delight in rebellion against your unceasing scolding.
For I am of that rather large, if unfashionable, number for whom fireworks belong to the turning of the year.
And in other matters too, no doubt,
I am an unrepentant sinner.
I am a carnivore. I admit it freely, and sleep perfectly well because of it.
I eat fish and flesh knowingly and with pleasure - though between meals I am wholly vegan, almost vegan-fluid, if that brings comfort.
My vinegar, however, is free of moraline.
From 2009 until 2021 I did not fly at all. Since then I have flown several times a year and even take pleasure in cruising the seas.
Nor am I especially keen on being lectured by those who in the sauna profess a touching uncertainty about biological basics, yet suddenly enlist in “Team Science”
when climate and prohibitions are at stake. One cannot credibly invoke the natural sciences when they serve one’s purpose, and deny them again when their findings prove inconvenient.
No - you and your postmodern creed are Team Voodoo - heavy on ritual, light on reason: a fellowship of panic rituals, sacrificial demands, and climate incantations.
Your so-called “climate icons” have gravely discredited themselves
through one-sided, at times antisemitically tainted, pro-Palestinian positions and appearances at such demonstrations - accusations raised by Jewish organisations and even by the Federal Commissioner for Combating Antisemitism.
And the pampered, privileged brats of the Fridays-for-Future milieu dream of bans, re-education, and a curiously joyless utopia, while bathing in affluence themselves and jetting around the globe.
One grows rather tired of this woke whining from the banning and browbeating faction - this endless chant of
“we must,”
“our planet,”
“our responsibility.”
This lofty self-righteousness, so often issuing from the safe harbours of public employ, where women, but also men, preach of risks they themselves never bear - and never will.
And then this towering hubris:
“We must save the world!”
As though a country sliding into global insignificance could single-handedly redeem the climate of the earth. Were one not personally entangled in it, by living here, one might laugh freely at such boundless self-overestimation - for it bears an uncanny resemblance to earlier German doctrines of salvation - a temptation no nation ever quite resists. This time, to be sure, finally with the “good” motive.
In this spirit, I wish you a fair turning of the year.
And at the least, drink champagne with your bread. It may not go bang,
but it does at least pop. Small mercies.
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