WMDL Injury Report

Eli Garcia will be questionable for the upcoming golf season after losing two fingers while playing with his pet alligator.

Brethren/Bear Lake soccer team will start the season without several players after they were caught snorting smarties in the locker room.

Randy Pienta has contracted Elephantitis Testicalitis and will be limited in play during the upcoming baseball season.

MCC and Walkerville will not field baseball teams this season because…well…um…it's MCC and Walkerville.

Kyle Lee (popped, locked, and dropped it too hard and popped his hip out of place) is done with sports for the year.

Bear Lake's Trent Johnson joins Josh Riggs in the mental rehab facility after being dunked on by Baldwin's Blake Dockery last night.

Baldwin boys basketball team losses several players after a secret ballet practice was busted.

@Kamerendanks_ basically looked like this

Wren Gilbert (injured in a severe cheese-grating accident) questionable to return before districts.

Brethren senior Josh Riggs is currently recovering in a mental facility after being dunked on by Onekama sophomore Jacob Mauntler yesterday.

Onekama girls basketball team being questioned after a team bikini calendar surfaced earlier this week.

MCE boys basketball team has forfeited their entire season after it was found that several players were using low-grade bear tranquilizers.

Justin Feliczak (tazed at Meijer during an attempt to steal a fish) will play tonight despite immanent criminal charges.

Joey Mickevich (beef with rapper Chief Keef went too far and was shot in a drive-by) is recovering in a local hospital.

Kassidy Ward (you don't want to know how she got her foot stuck up there) is out today against Pentwater.

Brethren girls basketball team got lost on their way to MCE. Now at Hogwarts learning magic.

Shelby Papes (double dog dared Jodi Janowiak to poop in the school hallway) is suspended for 6 games.

Jodi Janowiak (got double dog dared to poop in the hallway) is suspended for 4 games.

Damon Martz (conga-lined off a cliff, paralyzed) joins a wheelchair basketball team.