Black Lives Matter

Scrolling through Twitter half asleep. Saw an ad about a documentary on The Mayans but my sleepy ass though it said The Wayans. Now I’m disappointed.

Céline Dion!!!!!!!!!! That's it. That's the tweet. #Olympics

Anyone who acts like they know what they're doing in life is full of shit and should not be trusted.

@AllysonRaeWx Makes it easier for editors so they don’t have to necessarily match glass fullness between strategic scene cuts

Someone please explain to me the gold cups. The overkill has me curious. #LoveIsBlind #LoveIsBlindS5

Is anyone ever not tired?

@TheTatyYomary THEY FUCKED THREE MONTHS PREVIOUS‼️ THROW THE WHOLE MAN AWAY

I know Uche did not put Aaliyah through the ringer over a 2 year old transgression to later admit that he dated Lydia before the experiment. Lydia consoling this girl knowing she dated that man. I am disgusted. Trash all around. #LoveIsBlind #LoveIsBlindS5

Hey @Wegmans, one of your pharmacists is harassing me online to the point of doxxing me and then creating a fake profile of me, as well as some antisemitic comments. Probably shouldn’t be handling something as high-risks as medication. Let me know if you need more.

@i8athumbtack @kellermankomedy @WARHEADS There were both!!

Does anyone remember Warheads candy? I’m in a heated argument with @kellermankomedy who says he remembers the candies having a fizzy center. I remember them being sour and them sweet and that’s it. Which one of us is wrong? @WARHEADS

@Hughiestonefish I appreciated him owning his mistake! But the comments are an absolute dumpster fire. Sigh.

For anyone curious: the idea that Jews killed Jesus has been used to kill Jews since the beginning of Christianity. This is why Jews get concerned when people bring it up. And for the record, I believe Jaime Foxx didn’t fully understand this context when he made his post

Hey @Anthropologie how come fat people have to pay almost twice as much? There’s not a retailer out there besides y’all that does this.

Yooo Jenelle from teen mom... you know I'm touring again?

The soda machine at amc was completely out of Diet Coke on Barbie opening night women are so powerful

@LissaJoStewart RIGHT!

my fiancée just asked me if greta gerwig is the climate change girl i gtg

@Eve6 *ahem* Think twice ‘fore you touch my girl

Hey @SamsClub @samsclubhelp, my friend Bari is so obsessed with you that she got engaged at your Fort Walton, FL store (with a little help from Rosetta handing out a very sparkly “sample”)! She and her fiancé have shopped with you once a week for ten years 💕 #BariZachandSam

@BarackObama Came to see if you updated the bio 😂

You can watch more from my conversation with Hasan Minhaj as we talk about everything from democracy to staying hopeful in difficult times: youtu.be/jAYVKZSWXhY

Here’s the advice I shared with Malia about what progress looks like – and the work we can do right now to make a difference.

@lakestreetdive Maybe not a traditional love song but I walked down the aisle to Feelin’ Groovy 🥰

FAVORITE LOVE SONG….go! The one that really gets you swooning and maybe even blushing a little 🥰🫢

@missmulrooney Thank you for unlocking a part of my brain that’s been asleep for ~30 years

So are we still teaching our daughters “Miss Suzy Had A Steamboat”? Or will I get phone calls?

I’m sorry but I think astrology is the dumbest fucking thing. Give yourself some credit for having a personality instead of thinking the timing of your parents boning has some great influence on who you are 🙄 the only thing dumber is religion okay bye

@CanlassXD @ROTPLUSH @__VeTe__ You don’t need to understand it? Just respect it.

@ROTPLUSH @__VeTe__ Wait the word tranny is like that it honestly just sounds like a funny nickname like this like I honestly don't understand what part of the word makes it so offensive