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Olivia Munn has to be the Sooners’ guest picker on Saturday. Please don’t choose a snooze fest/fake Okie. Lots of murmurs around campus that Munn (Gaylord College Alum) is the preferred guest picker for this weekend. Choose right. #MunnAndDone @oliviamunn

@SmilingFrantz Holler we want prenup!

My pregnant wife keeps saying how hard it is being pregnant.. I’m like just wait until you see how hard it is to be a single mom

@jzux @RogerMcGiver

now more than ever i relate to the elf mailroom guy who is inexplicably 26 years old

@RogerMcGiver Hawkguardian LeviTuah! Spell on that thang! Hahah!! 🪄

Just started at hakwarts. Sortin hat told me to kill myself

@slagle747 $3.7m a year in installments for the buyout. Not thaaaat bad 😶‍🌫️

If BV loses this game get him out. DONT care. He is in year 3 week 10 and this team plays with worse poise than a highschool team

@RogerMcGiver @kfor “wide booty, wider booty, double-wide booty.” - Tim ‘Booty Man’ Wilson (RIP)

@kfor Seats now double-wide for the ladies?

OSU drops new stadium seating for 2024 football season trib.al/JkB9wZI

FB Marketplace is bigger hellhole than Twitter if we’re keepin’ it a buck

@VerizonSupport @Sir_CHARL3S Listen Bob… FIX IT!!!

@Sir_CHARL3S We're happy to assist with your billing concerns. Please return to the DMs when you get the chance, so we can continue working with you to resolve things. *Bob

@imjustinbber hitting up hr to change my voter registration to missouri

jogging in the middle of the street with a bulletproof vest feels like 5150 territory

no I will not GO TO SLEEP until my little minions’ dots on Find My Friends are all snuggled cozy in bed (their home address)

“Who has the bag” 😒🙅‍♂️🚫 “Who has the Lumify red eye relief?” 🤠🥵🤞🏼🫦🙏🏼👀

we’re actually all just slowly becoming deaf.. collectively.. every person I know is leaning in asking “what’d they say?”

@Sir_CHARL3S we are SO. Back.

@WhozeManz I’m back in the dugout #BaseballBoiz let’s gooo

Make @Sir_CHARL3S like Baseball Again (maybe for the first time who knows) is my campaign slogan for 2024 and 2025

The “When y’all started dating” trend is my 13th 1/2 reason.

When you think about it, Malcom was kinda mid…

Just trying to make her my: Gallag(she)/her

I miss her (She was 4’11) ((Please report me for bullying/abuse I need my Twitter taken away))