Cara. With a C 🤍

This ⬇️ ❣️

All things Liverpool today

@Gilberss84 The scratch and dash! 😱😱😱

At 42 years old still have the fear this will malfunction and take my head off.

Liverpool I am in you 🍻🍸

If you find someone that looks at you like that…she’s a keeper. Just saying.

@jakesoden Then we get annoyed you don’t know what we’re on about!

@WithAC86 All the damn time. 🤣

This

@DeborahMattocks Liking that dress chick! 🤩

Early start this morning as I’m office girl today 😔 That’ll be fun today, I’m sure.

@BattagliaAlan It really is 🥴

@WithAC86 Crikey!!! That is absolutely ridiculously expensive

💸💸 all because the adult mental health service is broken. This one prescription really bugs me every month when I go to get it, because I don’t function well without it so it’s not an option, but its not exactly cheap 😵‍💫

@jakesoden Sadly reality 💸😵‍💫

@WithAC86 Insane.

@jakesoden Yes, for 30 day supply 😵‍💫

@WithAC86 That’s the monthly cost?!

Who runs this account.

@LordBakersLodge I have one of each and fml parenting a boy is a wholeeeee other level 😆

@WithAC86 I've a five year old girl and think that. Quite regularly 😂

Anyone else with a boy ever just look at them and think wtf is going through your head?! 😵‍💫😆

Neurotypical: “You take things too literally.” Autistic person: “You say things you don’t mean too casually.”

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career.

@Ninney2021 Honestly, this one is a tornado tonight, bed time imminently!!

@DeborahMattocks 🫶🫶🫶

Today marks two years since the man I loved tried to kill me. A day that changed my life forever. Today I’m so grateful to have some many wonderful people that bring such laughter, joy and love to my life everyday. You’re truly fantastic. I now know peace and happiness

@DeborahMattocks @MattTakeThree @AlpacaAurelius 😆😆😆😆

@WithAC86 @MattTakeThree @AlpacaAurelius I’m 3 and 5 😂

women only have 5 moods: 1. impregnante me and give me 7 kids immediately 2. leave me tf alone 3. i am not built for 9-5, i am built to frolick and lay naked by the sea 4. feed me a treat 5. i need a new dress