Christiana Benton

“She could have been rich but she insisted on having 3 beverages at all times.”

I love my friends. 🥹

acetaminopheminenomenon

I can never have enough beverages.

The Lord hitteth, and the Lord doth quitteth.

Can someone please show me off to their friends at the pier??

Assassination attempts, Global IT outages, a drop out, Kamala is brat. What will tomorrow bring? Hopefully a boyfriend.

I’m truly crush-starved.

Some guy I briefly dated a few years back had a vegetarian dog. Now he posts stories of himself grilling giant steaks as a flex. I will never grasp the male mind.

But also can you explain it to me in a few sentences, I CANNOT get through these long articles.

@bigkiitten But also can you explain it to me in a few sentences, I CANNOT get through these long articles.

@Yannashouse I think you know the Answer if you’D just tHink about it for a taD

Someone tell me why coffee makes me tired and weed makes me feel awake.

@bigkiitten Lol yep just as I suspected.

(Looking in a mirror) “I beg you, don’t embarrass me, motherfucker.”

July 16th, 2024 - Sat with my feelings. Didn’t die.

I think we can all agree there are enough Planet of The Apes movies right?

Literally never heard this record. Not a single song. But I have such an appreciation for the hold it has on my Caucasian musician friends.

Hear me out - It’s Beauty & The Beast, but in Philly. I’m Belle. I greet each PPA officer with song before picking up a biography on Ben Franklin. Slowly, I fall in love with Gritty. Then the Eagles win the Super Bowl and he turns out to be Bradley Cooper.

@ungr8ful_bitchx Omg.

Guys, Bridgerton is BAD.

I really expected that when I grew up, men would talk to me like we were in a Goo Goo Dolls song, so you can understand my disappointment.