Zahn Thompson

There should be maternity leave for when you get a new pet. I will never change my mind about this.

All I want to do is watch nature documentaries and cry.

Can someone who is smarter than me please explain why construction blocks off 20 miles of road for a 200 foot strip of road they’re working on?? Please and thanks.

I typed “Gra” into my texts searching for a thread. I came across the last text chain I sent to my Grandma. She really was my biggest fan. Tell your loved ones how much you love them every chance you get because losing them sucks. 🤍🍤

I remember when my grandma first got a smart phone, she sent me a 🍤 emoji with no context. Later, she told us, “I couldn’t figure out how to get it off my screen so I just said, f**k it and sent it.” After that, she sent a 🍤 with every text. I miss that iconic queen so much 🍤

Facebook has got to be the most pick me app I’ve ever been on.

Somebody PLEASE tell me why 11 years ago my entire Facebook consisted of song lyrics and “<3” like I thought they were written about me

You know you’re dangerously close to rock bottom when you run out of Hinge likes at 8:30am I wouldn’t know, but like

My anxiety attack is right on schedule and honestly, it’s comforting to know that even my mental illness is also type A.

After all of that…

I got a tattoo the other day and in the reference picture I sent the artist, the woman had a small birthmark near the tattoo. I didn’t see it in the moment BUT HE TATTOOD THE BIRTHMARK ON ME HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH I simply cannot

One time, one of the most attractive Nurse Practitioners I’ve ever seen asked me if we reuse the skin safe markers. I aggressively replied, “REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE”. He literally ran away. I think about that a lot.

I met our neighbor while she was feeding her chickens the first day we moved to Idaho. She has quickly become the best part of moving to Idaho. Protect Aunt Sue and the chickens at all cost.

Makayla: “who’s making you smile at your phone like that?” Me: *getting the Wordle on the second try*

I truly don’t know how people go through life without a dog. The serotonin I release when I watch this is insane.

I laughed when my parents told me to play Wordle, but now I look forward to it everyday…

Tried on a bridesmaid dress that was 4 sizes too big and looked like a table cloth. Lynn may be clueless but damn if he isn’t supportive

My patient asked if she could give me a hug. Me being calm cool and collected in uncomfortable situations, just stood there hoping that the awkward silence would give her a hint. After about 10 seconds of this, she proceeded to hug me.

@GerenTanner Congratulations

@ZahnThompson21 Wow.

I don’t have the energy to write, “congratulations!!” On every one of my friends Facebook posts who are having babies.