JoeZalias

Coming soon

2025: 'Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains.' 'Then you ARE curtains. Let's change your details on the forms. What are your preferred pronouns?'

I'm celebrating #veganuary by not lifting a finger. Because I also haven't got the energy. I'm only doing the parts of #veganuary I like this year: Feeling smug and telling everyone about it.

New porn site for Yorkshire men: Like fake taxi but it's a real taxi driver that drives a bloke to his destination and only charges 49p per mile.

a lovely lady waited to see me. told me her son turned 40 and passed away unexpectedly and a week later her husband died too. my show was the first time she'd laughed in over two years and she wanted to buy me a drink. THIS is why I do what I do.....MILF pussy.

Gregg Wallace is in trouble because he made sexualised jokes and some comedians are gloating and celebrating?! You really are a strange bunch who clearly do not understand that you are on the same incinerator conveyor belt. #masterchef #greg #comedians

Stand up clip. A guy all the way from London to Sheffield on a first date 😱

Paramedic reveals what he found inside a patient. #protest #NHS #comedy #bants

Far too many child psychologists would call this abuse instead of good parenting.

Loved filming this

I just submitted "Where's The Money " to The White Rose International Film Festival via FilmFreeway.com! -

I've been back on here for the first time in about a year. I've rolled my eyes four times and said "Oh, do fuck off." Three times. See you again next year.

@danielstrideYT Right back at you mate ❤️

@ZaliasJoe Hope all is well mate it's been a while hope you have a great Christmas

I'm on the lookout for a great script to EP and direct. I'm drawn to flawed and destructive lead characters riddled with internal conflict. Drama/horror or comedy. Feature or short (that could turn into a feature) considered. Please retweet/send out to writers you know 😘

I LOVE @RickRubin. One day I will work with you.

Please don’t forget that we have our ‘A Night of Comedy’ coming up on Saturday 27th May with the amazing @alxboardman, @ricky_balshaw, @simonlomas and @ZaliasJoe. Please comment below if you would like any tickets reserving… rockinghamccc.co.uk/news/a-night-o…

Joyous night at @lastlaughcomedy tonight. @ZaliasJoe is the perfect MC. Other than @tobyfoster of course 😜. Nice to be back enjoying live comedy again. Get amongst it. lastlaughcomedy.co.uk

New headshots... So it you need an actor that looks exactly like this.. say hello

@CarolynMCasting @SheppsCast @ITG_Ltd @SpotlightUK @CDGNews @RichardEGrant Well deserved!

Wow😮! Genuinely delighted to win Best Casting in an Independent Film with @SheppsCast ❤️at tonight’s #CDGAwards2023 🌟Thanks to @ITG_Ltd @SpotlightUK @CDGNews 👏🏾 @RichardEGrant 🙏🏽

@Ben_S_Hyland Are you now in a commited relationship?

The look my cat gave me when he was having his temperature taken at the vet has changed our relationship forever.