Dan Farrow

It’s 2028. Welcome to the token economy. We realized that all software and activities can be shaped to spend tokens, which is good, because more tokens we spend, the more productive and happier we are as a society. My Openclaw agent goes to wake up the alarm agent, which then after running for 5 minutes in a new sandbox and burning 500 tokens, plays a sound to wake me up. My news agent reads all my email, including spam, crawls the web, and gives me a 5-line summary of the world. Very efficient. I get to my desk. 100 agents have been chatting all night. 10k LOC ready to merge. I tell my merge agent to press the merge button. Check my company token leaderboard. 15,000 tokens burned and I haven’t even done anything yet. I tell my manager agent to boot up my other agents. First thing they do is vibe code a Slack clone so they can post progress updates to each other. I tell them to find something to do and go to lunch. Back from lunch: Company leaderboard says 25,000 tokens burned. More than Chad. Very nice. At 80,000 tokens a day you unlock Platinum tier, which gives access to faster models that can burn tokens even faster. Agents built another 10k LOC while I was out. I don't know what it does so I tell my review agents to tear it apart, rebuild it, and merge it again. Excellent token utilization. Then I ask my social media agent to post that software engineering is dead because agents do it now. More tokens. I get hungry, so I tell Openclaw to vibe code DoorDash. We call it ClawDash. Iterate on the logo for about 5mins with my designer agent. We make the red with some lobster claws. Very appropriate. It takes 5 hours, several new agents to ping the status, and one human recruiter signing up a Mexican restaurant, but eventually my food arrives. I heat it in the microwave with a dedicated heating agent program I built for this purpose. Before bed I check the my dishwasher dashboard. My agents run through the log history since dawn of time, and tells me that it says it ran 23 hours ago, and was opened shortly after so it’s probably clean. Final leaderboard check: 81,239 tokens burned. Platinum achieved. I now have access to new models faster, which burn tokens faster, and will receive Platinium plaque in the mail. Time to wind down with some generated Fraser episodes which I tell my entertainment product agent to script, review, and finally generate. Important thing is the token burn never stops.

All jokes aside, i’ve only just seen this. Is this the worst tattoo of all time?

✍️ NEW SIGNING We’re delighted to confirm the signing of 20-year-old forward Ron Sithole for the 2025/26 season Welcome to Broadhurst Park, Ron!

Attitude Era.