John Tomaszewski

hey @DCheverere, my cousin @RandyTrembacki said you’re the go to for 2020 Christmas tree rating. does the teddy bear ladder get this one over a 1.0?

after doing some serious engineering level math, we’ve realized @kyle_wegener spends $3,000 a year on tequila shots at bars

@kyle_wegener 2.5 years later: Mission Accomplished @kyle_wegener @marysophiah @ChadDelgado @fro_bro_ @HNorre @MindBlowJoe

"I need a cigarette and a waffle" -@kyle_wegener

TRUE STORY: After beginning the day with 5 mimosas and deciding to go to the Zoo.. walked onto liquor store. "How can I help you?" "I need to sneak liquor into the Zoo." "Sir. I am a supervisor at the Zoo." "Shit." "I suggest fireball." "YOOO my MAN!"

@QuinnXCII Awesome show! Will you sell the white 1992 sweatshirts again? They disappeared from your website😫 & are the coolest artist merch I've seen

@partyboobz Nothing beats people clipping their nails 😫

Social Media: Kneeing at an NFL game: rage BIPARTISAN support for $700 BILLION defense spending bill: crickets #sheep #bringthetroopshome

@GodGrahamit cursive

Woo twitter famous 😂 @ChadDelgado !! #Norway #TeamJumper @Chrispysig @mattcoffin91 twitter.com/sigmachi/statu…

@SigmaChi I have a #flagfriday to DM you! (but I think I need a follow back?)

Will I get +/- 10 boos due to my Patriots jersey during the 45 mins from security to boarding at Midway? #letsgopats!

Hey @BarackObama, quick question before you go: Has any other Nobel Peace Prize winner ever dropped over 100,000 bombs on people???

@BPVSTL 2017 starting just about as bad as 2016 ended

@BPVSTL these chicken strips are more disappointing than the millennials' job market

.@BPVSTL ballpark, these are more disappointing than our choices for the 2016 election #ballparkvillage

"What is this world coming to?!" -grandmas response on schools phasing out cursive handwriting 😂 #thanksgiving

"Ohh wtf I'm playing Tom Brady and he's suspended for 4 weeks?!?!" @kyle_wegener #OurTaco #TheLeague

@katigrap @UberFacts !!! Ha I love being The Anomaly

Current status: @fro_bro_ 's Afro is caught in a power window Happy 4th