KP Hooker🧶

I do what I want. I am friends with who I want to be friends with, and if anyone ever puts me in a position where I have to choose...you made that choice, not me. No one will control or try to emotionally blackmail me into coercion. Sorry not sorry. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

IYKYK

@HellRaz0r1776 @pwilsondtf Bestie, have we not been through 6 or 8 already? If Jesus won’t take me yet I’m going with the aliens. 🛸

@pwilsondtf I think so

If the world was going to end tomorrow would you want to know🤔

𝕏 must be clicking on all cylinders today. I’ve not seen one complaint about the aLgOrItHm, i’M bEiNg ThRotTlEd or even a CaN yOu SeE tHiS pOsT…🥴

@QTheLibertine 😂🙌🏼

@_HotMessHooker Spring in Texas is the best two weeks of the year.

My beauties 🥰

@Houseofeden007 @DrunkRepub With stellar jokes!

@_HotMessHooker @DrunkRepub He’s an extremely stable genius. Many people are saying

“So they’ve suddenly canceled the current season of ‘The Bachelorette.’ Why? You might ask. No one knows. But we do know a producer on the show’s father attended summer camp with Benjamin Netanyahu in 1955. Coincidence? I’ll let you decide.”

🙌🏼🔥🔥🔥

HOOD COUNTY, TX

@JTAlexander_ My 14 yr old is a solid tank! When my 19 yr old was home for a bit after AIT his younger brother wanted to arm wrestle. He laughed at him thinking there’s no way bruh 😂 Tank beat GI JOE 🤣

Fun Story Friday— I had an experience very similar to this cow. I'm not gonna give exact measurements, but I'm neither particularly large nor small for an American. In America, I do not stand out by size alone whatsoever. But elsewhere, that's a different matter. I've mentioned before that I spent two years living in the GCC. I wasn't there as a military guy, but doing other things. I was on a normal visa like a normal expat, for all intents and purposes. The Middle East actually has as bad of an immigration problem as the rest of the world—they just don't make much of a fuss about it because they aren't Liberal, and don't have the qualms about rounding immigrants up in vans and shipping containers and tossing them into the Gulf, if needs be, to solve the problem. Whenever they decide it needs solving. Which is not now. Around 50% of the population in the GCC is foreigners. *By far,* the four biggest expat populations are (1) Indians, (2) Egyptians, (3) Filipinas, and (4) Ethiopians. One of the things you have to do on a visa, naturally, is get screening for TB. This is an industrialized assembly-line process. You go to the visa place, corralled by your sponsors—which, like here, are usually employers who bring in hundreds to thousands at a time. On your date of screening, you show up at the facility, get herded into the building, pushed through each station in constantly moving lines. Until you finally reach the X-ray room where things slow down. To adjust, they snake the line through a massive room where you zig and zag from wall to wall, back and forth until you get to the front. Here is where it happened. As you can imagine, as an American White man, I was a pretty stark minority in this screening. Most of our guys are there as military or on diplomatic visas. I was the *only* White man in the room. I was also the only American in the room. Among this sea of 300 men, this completely average-sized American was a tank among infantry. I was seriously worried I might hurt one of them if I bumped into them too hard. I looked just like this cow. Comically huge and absurdly bright among a sea of small brown folk.

Jesus gained a bodyguard today. RIP Chuck Norris, you will be missed.

@_HotMessHooker Well... when I die I want to be spread all over Disney land, but I don't want to be cremated.

FYI… 14 years old is apparently “too old” to drop off at the fire station. 🙄 Too big to fit in the box. 😒

@dobie_gang 🤭🤣🤣☠️

This is kinda cool. I was burying a body in my yard and found this in the dirt, a statue of Saint Joseph, I believe.

@_HotMessHooker Omg that's way too funny!!🤭🤭🤣🤣

@Houseofeden007 @PolitiBunny @DrunkRepub

@PolitiBunny @DrunkRepub His rendition of the Flea Joke is genius vintage comedy

One of my favorite accounts … surely you guys are following @DrunkRepub, yes? If not, fix that shit.

Excuse me @SecWar but I’m about to re-enlist for my promotion to E7. Would you care to give me the oath of enlistment or pin my 7? That’s if you’re available. I’m willing to travel… Sir.

I can clearly see that you pushed the elevator button, it’s lit up. But you need to move and let ME push that lit elevator button. You’ll see.

I invented a thought controlled air freshener. My Wife said it wasn’t a good idea. But it makes scents when you think about it…