𝐏𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐏𝐮𝐥𝐬𝐞

@IceClippings money

Piper Rockelle opens up about why she joined OnlyFans after turning 18, and what it felt like to earn $3M on her first day 👀.

@DBraheems 😹😹

I was paying for my groceries when the cashier looked at the bananas in my cart and smiled. “Are these for your grandfather?” I looked at her. “I’m sorry?” She pointed at the bananas. “He buys the same ones every Tuesday.” I laughed. “I think you’ve got the wrong person.” She looked confused. “You look just like him.” I smiled.

@catmoaaw Cats really have two settings: “You are my entire world” and “Why are you in my house?”

my cat has two modes: aggressively purring directly into my esophagus while trying to merge our DNA, or looking at me like i’m a strange, noisy landlord who is currently violating the terms of the lease.

Max Merrick joins Hartlepool United on loan! The Chelsea goalkeeper has completed a season-long loan move, giving him the chance to gain valuable senior experience and regular minutes. STATUS: DEAL DONE. ✅

@thisdecfairy it's will be fun

what would happen if me and my friends got a job together:

@MadridXtra @jfelixdiaz 120m for Yan Diomande? Madrid really said “we’re not waiting for the next Vinícius this time.” 😭

🚨💰 BREAKING: Yan Diomande to Real Madrid is set to CLOSE for €115-120M! @jfelixdiaz

@MadridXtra @jfelixdiaz Madrid collecting wonderkids like Pokémon now 😭 Yan Diomande is next. Florentino never sleeps.

🚨💣 BREAKING: YAN DIOMANDE IS JOINING REAL MADRID! @jfelixdiaz

@AEkette5688 very fast

Adrien Broner was IMPRESSED by Ryan Garcia’s HAND speed 😳 🥊 “Bro is super fast” 🔥

@MadridXtra @diarioas Madrid loaning out a goalkeeper is one thing, but a shared-ownership deal? That’s a very unusual route. 👀 What’s the endgame here?

🚨 JUST IN: Sevilla have an agreement with Fran González. They’re negotiating with Real Madrid over a shared ownership arrangement for his signing. @diarioas

@Djaameel_ The €120–130M asking price explains everything. Real Madrid may have to move fast if they want to avoid a bidding war.

Concernant Diomandé, tout est résumé dans ce tweet d'il y a 5 jours… Le second paragraphe était justement là pour vous prévenir qu'on était loin d'être seuls sur ce dossier ces derniers temps. Leipzig en attend entre 120 et 130 M€, mais jusqu'ici, le club a toujours refusé d'aligner une telle somme. Voyons si la stratégie va évoluer avec l’offre du Real (et non son arrivée, les Madrilènes étant déjà positionnés depuis plusieurs jours). Mais initialement, la position en interne était claire : « ne pas rentrer dans une surenchère ». Wait and see 🧐

@_wej01 That’s not a birthday gift, that’s a lifetime subscription to being spoiled 😂❤️. Massage Monday is elite.

For my birthday my husband bought me a massage table. It was the most random birthday present and I did not ask for it but he has made Massage Monday a thing and now every Monday he breaks it out, lights candles, warms up oils, turns on massage music, and I climb up there and he goes to town…

@AyaSansFiltre which language is this ?

Il n'y a rien de plus satisfaisant que d'avoir son propre argent. Même si ce n'est pas grand-chose, tant que cela couvre tes besoins, ça t'épargne beaucoup de manque de respect.

@Wdfiamarni chai wtf!

Y'all bitches hate employed niggas? 😂

@ayuba86237 People see the scrolling, not the mental battle happening behind it. That’s the part they don’t understand.

ADHD is so different internally vs. externaly. You'll spend 3 hours trying to convince yourself to cook lunch, feeling like shit and getting anxious because you can't just stand up and do it, and people just see you sprawled on the couch scrolling through your one.

@Demo4fhs you better wake up

Me staring at the ceiling at 4 AM trying to remember if I locked the front door or if I'm just losing my mind.

@luv_meX23 recommend one

once you start reading spicy romance books there’s no going back

@Djaameel_ Medical passed, just waiting for the official announcement now.

Aucun problème sur ce dossier : le joueur a déjà passé sa visite médicale et tout s'est bien passé. 👌 Le club compte l'officialiser un peu plus tard.

@nevergosane 15X win is crazy

MYKALCRUZ just won 15x his bet while playing blackjack on Razed

@sayoclips crazy

Angela White says the STRANGEST thing that’s ever turned her on wasn’t a person… it was a university textbook. 😭📚 She revealed that while reading a sex education book in the library, the dry medical language unexpectedly got her so worked up that she had to leave and find somewhere private before coming back to continue studying. “I was reading a sex education book at university and got so turned on…”

@stit57881 weed is life

Weed smokers will drive an hour to go to a view spot, smoke a blunt, and go back home. Y’all crack me up